Nina,
This year I didn't wait for the first letter to come through. I, sadly, have been trhough so much since our lettter in 2024. I knew it was bad when i started listening to 3DG lmao.
The year has been, ironically the most difficult of our life. I try to keep it up around people, and i don't want to die so i guess that's progress, but still.
I wish i could go back to Nina 2024 and warn her. Tell her she will finally be diagnosed, she will finally have the help she needs but still feel incredibly alone. I feel incredibly alone. Sadly (again) since our diagnosis, some people left, or don't ask how I am, how we are. Thank god for Max, I think I would be deeper in depression if he wasn't there.
Sometimes i pull throught, other times i don't. I feel the need to reassure the people around me who don't see me everyday.
I guess i don't have a lot of positives things to say this year.
I hope 2026 will be kinder, i hope we will get the help we desperally need.
Love u,
you
Epilogue
10 days later
Dear past Nina,
Oh if you knew. If I could warn you for what is coming.
2026 will be the worst year of your life (so far). We will lose...
Sbte nwke teh of neo ew elpeop. Itveforua of peeopl rou noe. .
Hte og scodniei ot ogoscnhi by him taoihlps dame ees ta ew het tsbe btu,. It rdha asw. Was it uflwa. Alos stal to ti luiftbaue but meit eno ish dohl hnsad swa. Os ihs gdarvene in atth is we ruo humc sdcuoef mymreo lnhigod it on nadsh.
Oyru hte ftera ady be ifel ilwl tosrw fo. Eth ycremnoe. D,hlci oru us ctfonor ihs altbenk a nana gnolidh dan taekcs bngbiso si lal eerbemmr i , rgmnseica elik. Eht wlel rhtew ni eddu dan how hsase teh ihs. A uaar tcfignmroo had eh.
.
Eid to iwll ntaw yuo. A uoy ehav ouy imet to lwli ycr ,klaw evrey taek pets ot. Yuo to atlk ilek lliw eemmissot dan feel eh mih onepdrss. Siumc eyevr iltesn ot yuo cyr item lwil you. Ouy rgiuta nlpaygi liwl ostp. Yuo remyoan aer who wotn' wkon oyu. Yuo. Want illw. To. Die. Ehetr yhw be ? ofr nto 'ehs ? uaesbce ddwieng why nhntyagi eh 'tnca ese your athw euor'y yhw fi fi do eethr radierm ? he t'nac teg if vnilig eibonmgc peke.
Osge no tbu ilfe. ,tyerllila otsp you anct' it. Ekpe ot ahev uyo ilwl glwikan. Ktae ot antw neartoh dan lilw uyo or ot epst ,tno you a rewtheh evha. Nda tneohar. Lwak da,n. Verye ryc 'llouy utb eitm wlak uolyl'.
Ysa ppia"" ide ilwl anwt ulowd nto thta ot uoy you ot ylsfuore. Ouy o'ndt os dei. To ilwl etltil usivvre nda e,itltl rty by yuo. Nda lliw emebco etltli snivgvuri tli,let gilinv yb. Ew eont yte but eetrh are. Iltls rae ew ngvviirsu. Ygrtni epke ot adn anna laiev.
.
Comeeovr ruyo hsti orfm dan iwll nad dsfneir hstgrten eo,acrug eolv uoy iylfam ende to. I aevh nedisng mi' ouy hnrigvtyee os ni eaadvcn.
.
Evol i uoy.
M'aeti iapp aism ftro. . . Torf :) tèsr.
.
Uoy.
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