Nina,
This year I didn't wait for the first letter to come through. I, sadly, have been trhough so much since our lettter in 2024. I knew it was bad when i started listening to 3DG lmao.
The year has been, ironically the most difficult of our life. I try to keep it up around people, and i don't want to die so i guess that's progress, but still.
I wish i could go back to Nina 2024 and warn her. Tell her she will finally be diagnosed, she will finally have the help she needs but still feel incredibly alone. I feel incredibly alone. Sadly (again) since our diagnosis, some people left, or don't ask how I am, how we are. Thank god for Max, I think I would be deeper in depression if he wasn't there.
Sometimes i pull throught, other times i don't. I feel the need to reassure the people around me who don't see me everyday.
I guess i don't have a lot of positives things to say this year.
I hope 2026 will be kinder, i hope we will get the help we desperally need.
Love u,
you
Epilogue
10 days later
Dear past Nina,
Oh if you knew. If I could warn you for what is coming.
2026 will be the worst year of your life (so far). We will lose...
Ewnk oen we tseb oeplpe het fo. Oru eloppe noe rieftavuo of. .
Ta estb niiceosd og ncghsioo ot hte yb ew ese b,tu dema him lphasiot eht. Swa ti radh. Was lawuf ti. Ti osla asdnh was astl utb hodl ot one ihs eailtuufb meit. Cuedofs his dhnsa is it uor atth yoermm areevngd ni we hmcu dohilng so no.
Yda file iwll eht of toswr yruo raeft be. The mceyreno. ,dhcli eactsk a nda , abtnkel hsi tfocron aisecrgmn dolihgn anan keli is i ruo iobsnbg su all rbrmmeee. Dude his in hte htwer dan eth woh wlel eshsa. Eh mnctoorfig raau a had.
.
Uoy die wlil to watn. To spte eyvre etak cry a uoy awlk, heav to tmei oyu ilwl. Ot yuo prsesond will sietmoems eh mih elef tlka ikle nad. Elstni oyu to yuo will smuci temi ryc vyeer. Sotp lwil ilapygn arguit ouy. Hwo you era oknw you nomeyar notw'. Ouy. Nwta wlil. Ot. Eid. Gitaynhn gcobmnie he eh see yhw epek hyw ywh ? she' od egt fi hwat eetrh t'nac fi ? edwgnid ? liginv herte fro beecuas r'yuoe fi eb drieamr n'cta ryou ton.
No geso ubt elif. Uoy ll,alyeirt stop ctan' it. Keep lawgkin evha llwi to uyo. Ot,n lwil yuo heav you ktae therano nda twan to ptse ot a ro trheehw. Nad trohena. Kwal nad,. Mtei kawl utb eveyr o'uyll oyl'ul yrc.
Illw asy ot to anwt uwdlo oyu edi eulorfsy api"p" ton taht you. Dei uoy n'dot so. Nad ot try uyo llwi uvievsr l,telit by tlleti. Will dna vngusvrii iletlt yb eeombc ivgnli teitl,l. Eyt rehet we btu ento are. Stlil are rvigsiuvn we. Nnaa nda eailv iynrtg epke to.
.
Nad uyor tihs iylmaf dna rmof olev rucgaeo, hnsetrtg ot you deen orovceme lwil inerfds. Navedca so ni oyu vgeehniyrt aveh nnsideg i 'im.
.
Vleo oyu i.
Pipa rfto amis 'aietm. . . Èsrt rfot :).
.
You.
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