A letter from Nov 03, 2025

Dear FutureMe, My heavy heart is weighing on me. Life is kicking my ***, and I'm in a fight with my own thoughts. My brain is telling me to just give up, accept defeat, be sad, and let it gain control. I've been feeling very down lately, and I keep wondering what's wrong with me. I feel stuck. I'm at the exact place I was. What if I'm not meant for more? What if this is everything life has to offer? I'm back at the same place I was, where I don't even have the energy to get out of bed, and I end up not doing anything productive the whole day, like a homeless person with no goals. That's what I feel like. Why is it possible for everyone to find someone so easily? I really don't get it. It happens to everyone except me. It makes me question if it is my fault or if something's wrong with me. My whole life feels like it is at a standstill, and it feels like "better" seems impossible. I'm exhausted, I don't know what to do, and I just want to wave the white flag. Hopefully, your day is better than today's Niki. Hopefully, you're in Taiwan now if all things go well.