I hope I am dead wen this is in my mail

hi there idk if I am still alive wen I read this I made big mistakes wen j was just a teen got in porn then to the dark web saw some stuff did some stuff got addicted got arrested add 15 lucky to have no jail but had no free dome did not deserve it but I relapse every 1/3 months for 2 years it stop a year even my depression was away I hope I was fix no addiction to dark web stuff but I just relapse and hate my self so much I am a monster not able to be fix and it's all my fault idk If I can survive this again I am not worthy of life so if I reply to this stuff I am a life of not I am dead 2007    2025/2026