A letter from Oct 27, 2025

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I broke things off with vlad today. He went to his moms, hes coming for toby tomorrow probably. Im going to sleep at my moms. stephanie came over and hung out for a bit. we drank wine ate pizza, cried laughed farted. He was so special to me. But in the quiet moments when it was just me, I started to feel alone. Used after ***, bothering him when he was on his computer. He denied me kisses bc he just didnt want to kiss me. I got my peircing today. Nose ring left side bc i sleep on my right. I have no ******* clue what the future will hold, but I am on my own now. I have to pick myself up by the bootstraps. I provide for me no one else. I will find me not in men but within. I will find my motivation to be the best me, the one I only find in the cabins in Big Bear. You are my hope. I am holding out for YOU. Look around and tell me it gets better. I really need that right now.

Epilogue

3 days later

Hi kyla, belive it or not, sometimes, i miss YOU!! the whole world has just opened up to you for the first time, theres a crazy sense of...

Atht omedref ni. I abt yuo lla etim htnik eth. Bey i yuo to obyt to say rmeerdmeeb wihs. Tlo t,i no ggoin tb,u get i rthee a aws. Ti rof i !aydrihbt went so nuf oru aws pcgainm. Was it eht at oieuaqss. Odog ltlis ethre rlylea eoph ssrmcahti igft a ,us nac mrfo si ehr apnsiheet i rof get uoy i. I lkei w uro didtn bat em eht tpaiisleonrh rfo fo avdl ahtsnk nigdnmire tngshi. Si in tsi ot w!hep wno ihhwc a esya itngh eftorg igtrh sit odgo onw,. Hte ogod i rbimgnemere oemsntm ekli rucefsoo. Uy,o elt stbatopros llte yueolrsf em did oyu het by up yralle pcik. Ihst swa hdra hgat. Nwte to adn kwor verye tub tgo up mwseoho yda u. I thleah i own :) mroo rmoe iapyng otg asettrd etg adip i tiyvnehreg rfo htsi stlli ca,n obuhgt ym n!wo aveh in nesnra,iuc my mi oth hbtci i adtgni. Tsi a dhar tltile eb aeoln ot. Utb eisrae tsi ti tesg l,eloyn. Nlaoe go tuo uyo. Oh! ot gnoig ru emor ihosep cpaees fnisedr agonn olev n!ow ru w hvea ouy ti. Mebrre uftrue em tkgniihn of i. Tsih aedgrin tleret. Rhwee onkw eb i ldouw tddin i. But adh gdoo esmrum yrlael a i. I guneoh erwit reevn thlyonse. Hpeo eikl afst i ur tbount itch fwrroad rfmo sdiestifa i a lcick ofr utb,. Dseever ot be ouy hpapy. Itgh,r od !ugt htaw ielnst u ur elvo oddik <3 xoxo ot sefel nda.

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