A letter from Oct 27, 2025

Dear FutureMe, Tomorrow is Hamish’s birthday! The last 9 months we had been seeing each other as FwB but then it grew into a relationship as of last week… I think it’s going okay but I’m still a bit hesitant about it all… especially because the relationship feels mainly physical atm, I’m waiting for it to get deeper and more insightful. I guess it will all work itself out! Meanwhile Maddy and I have kind of grown apart, she has been my best friend since January but recently I have been working a lot on myself, going to therapy and really learning about how my brain works and training it to find the positives more in life. However Maddy doesn’t seem to align with those goals I have, and I’ve distanced myself a bit as a result. It’s been difficult and sad, but necessary for my wellbeing. Recently I’ve been struggling a lot and feeling very down, but today I had therapy and then afterwards randomly decided to open my copy of The Power of Now. I opened it on page 68 and it was so relevant to me and my current situation. It really helped and I completely had a turnaround lightbulb moment and viewed my day and life completely differently. I went into the day trying to be more present and aware of my unconscious mind and pain body taking over. I’ve made friends with this guy called Amit. He’s Leo’s age but we get on like a house on fire, and he’s very emotionally mature and open, as well as very similar to me in a lot of ways. Especially growing a bit away from Maddy, he has become more prominent in my day to day life… I just feel a bit confused about the situation because the emotional depth I’m looking for in Hamish is there with him… With piano, I’m preparing for the Mottram competition! I’ve been preparing since I decided to commit to it in summer. I went to Lugano and had lessons with Roberto Plano on some of the repertoire and it was an amazing experience, it really shifted the way I think and my mentality regarding performing and preparing to perform. I hope I make it past the first round even, just so I can perform all the nice pieces I’m revising. First round is Scarlatti K319, Berg sonata, Chopin Ballade 4. Semi final is Debussy Pour le Piano, Beethoven Op. 109, Rachmaninoff MM 3 & 4. If I get to the final I’ll play Chopin Concerto No. 2. I hope I can!!! I love the concerto so much, it’s so beautiful and amazing. Watching the Chopin competition this year was so inspiring and I gained so many ideas for my own interpretations. I’m still very invested in Dalcroze Eurhythmics, which has been a new discovery in the last year. I went to the Dalcroze UK course in April, which was one of the most grounding yet uplifting and inspiring experiences I’ve had, especially regarding music. This year I’ve split my 1-1 lessons into 3 teachers. 2/5 with Graham and Ben Frith each, and 1/5 with Karin, the Dalcroze teacher. The two lessons I’ve had with her so far have been so insightful and very eye opening. My view on how I approach my pieces has changed so much, my perspective on harmony as well as hearing the sound I create come out of the piano into the space. It’s been so good for me!!! Something that I’m trying to be more aware of is being true to myself, and treating myself/giving myself what I deserve, and not tolerating less. The relationship with Hamish is a new test of this for me, and also my friendships at the moment too. Until next year! I can’t wait to read what I was up to and see how I’ve grown. Even only a year since the last one and so much has changed, with Charlie, and all my social circles. Lots of love, keep your chin up. Stay true. Liana x