A letter from October 26th, 2025

Dear FutureMe,
today is October 26th and it's been already 13 days you are in Armenia (your 50th country), in 2 days is your flight back to Nuremberg. You came here with Maryam, because she wanted to do nose surgery. Despite your attempts to talk her out of it, she still did that, but that's okay, you know you have to respect everyone's decision.
let me tell you how you are feeling at that point of your life: like ****. You broke up with Jahleel 5 months ago and he still keeps draining all your energy. You know much more about narcissists already, cos past 5 months you dedicated to educate yourself on this topic, well done girl, now you are spotting them from a distance. you know his every move and what's behind that too, you understand him on psychological level, but you are not accepting his actions. couple of days ago he said you didn't deserve to be chased by him in the beginning of relationships and today he said he wants you both have a good communication and build some connection (dumb *** ************). 
What I want to remind you: you deserve the best love, there was never your fault in anything he blamed you for, you tried so hard to keep this relationships together, you changed, adjusted and adapted, but he took everything for granted. that's not your fault, baby. you didn't deserve to be disregarded, disrespected, put down, gaslighted, shut down. your have a voice and it's loud, there will be never justification for him shutting you up, insulting and abusing you. you deserve so much more than this ********. 
lately you are meeting many men, who show you how you should be treated. never forget that not all the men are like that, there are a lot of good men who can show you that you are worthy, that you can be seen, heard and understood. 
what's about your career? you opened your marketing agency in the beginning of 2024, first you were very frustrated, because nothing was working out, then you started getting some clients, then of course you wanted to support Jahleel with his business and started working for him. You made some good money, but lost your mind. you also fell in love with US Taxes and started making your own way into the world this world after he throw you out. you created the website, organized clients portal, set up the business process and created the clients base that you are planning to contact in January. you are also studying to take a test to be Enrolled Agent, I'm so proud of you! you are doing just fine and I believe you can make it happen. I really hope you can take Maryam for full time and pay her properly, without her as your assistant it's getting really hard to manage everything. Especially after you broke up with that ******* and your ADHD got worse. I feel like you found something you are really passionate about, although it's kinda weird that it's taxes, but I mean, it happens often when we underestimate ourselves.
You are still working with your therapist and you realize many things. you also realized why you go for men like Jahleel, it's because both your dad and your brother have the same characteristics, that's something you grew up with and even tho you never wanted to have someone like that as your partner, your brain perceives it as something familiar. Your therapist helps a lot to go through a break up season because, God's a witness, it's no fun. Every day is an emotional rollercoaster, men hatred, desire to isolate yourself, a dream of burring yourself in work to never live and feel this life anymore. To be in control of your discipline, to live predictable life, would you ever think you could want to have such life ever? Well, there are seasons in life, right? 
What I wanna tell you: you are an amazing, empathetic, helpful, lovable, kind, big *** hearted person. You deserve so much more. you deserve to be happy, I know that you are in financially unstable situation, but you'll find a way, you always do. God is with you, so who can be against you then? You are loved, cared for, appreciated, respected and valued by people around you. You are worthy and no one can take it away from you because God says that you are! Nobody else matters.
I love you girl! Please if you are reading that, I hope you are in a better emotional, financial, mental and physical state. I hope you are happy.See you, let's talk in a year again!