A letter from Oct 26, 2025

Dear FutureMe, hey girl you currently went on a trip to Gainesville to visit your best friend truly one of the best days of your life. Right now we're having an identity crisis as you know you're failing anatomy and now your questioning everything whether this career is for you or wtv you know all this now you want to leave home all together after taking that trip you realized how ******* dull you've been living yes your education is important and setting yourself up for greatness has been your number 1 priority but girl your 19 you still need to live your life ive been feeling like im just wasting my youth with consistent working and school and idk how to break out of it for the love of god if we are still in this head space by the time this letter reaches you I dont know what ill do I Love you girl and I pray everyday we see a change and happiness pt 2 this year has been overwhelming and stressful for me even now when my life is filled with nothing but school studying work and bills ive had no time to enjoy and appreciate life lately. These past few months parents have been putting a lot of responsibility on me and I feel like they know it, but because of how I react to certain things which is like stone face like nothing affects me but behind closed doors im crying my eyes out til I take a nap or literally breathing in and out trying to calm myself down to keep myself from crying I just feel like I dont get appreciated for the things I do I dont even ask for much barely even at all plus the stress of being young and still not knowing I want to be 19 is that weird to say I want to party make friends go out and have fun meet new people I want to experience life and I dont think I can do that here I want so desperately to leave home all together and head to a university but I dont know where to i want to go so badly but not without a plan and that's the issue because very few schools would benefit me for the career im pursuing and its got me questioning should I change my major and just start all over? Another part of me feels I did this to myself trying to reach for a career so limited in every way because of this choice I made there's limited colleges limtied programs limited people that are allowed in the program just everything about it, and the crazy part about it its not even a passion of mine I dont think I have a passion for anything now that I think of it I like trying new things I can learn it then do it but I haven't found my passion but chasing after this one career is for my security I already have this 'plan' set for me if I decide now to say **** it and just explore life and figure out what I like I feel like a failure insecure unstable and lost because now ill be behind but right now im feeling stuck and I feel like ive been saying and thinking this for yearssss I dont have anyone that's helping me through this and every time I try to explain I can't seem to put the right words together. I knows this is all over the place im just typing whatever comes in my head.