A letter from Oct 25, 2025

Dear FutureMe, A part of me know that after these 6 months of travel I will never truly feel at home again. My life in Germany has been amazing, especially in the summertime hah. At first I barely missed my family because I found so much new family. Now, I'm getting closer to flying home, and am desperately longing to see my family and be in my 'home' in Australia again. I miss the beach, my family and my anchored life there. Yet, I know exactly that once I'm there I will long for the casual visits to Oma's house - a place I can come whenever, no matter where I am in Europe. Everything was just a days trip away. The distance between familiarity and unfamiliarity is much closer, it feels like the world is my oyster because if I creep too far outside my comfort zone, home is right there. That will change soon. I won't see my uncles every month or so or my Oma. I won't be able to pop into Hannover and see what feels as close as family as you can get without blood. I will miss the endless feeling of summer, as if the nights could go on forever. Days like that feel like nothing else matters, only you and your friends and this endless, impressionable night. I say this all whilst feeling miserable in Germany. I miss the beach of course and not wearing any shoes. I know now, concretely that i will never feel truly at home anywhere again. Hannover is my home but Perth is equally. The two are completely different - the forrest in Hannover, riding your bike and spazieren gehen. The canal that's a bit dirty and the water that's clouded from the sediment at the bottom. The smell of coal barbecues and existing in 3rd spaces. I know I will long for that. But how could I leave behind the Australian dream I already got a taste of? The crystal clear water and surfing and swimming. Endless summers. Camping and bouldering and nature. I know I will be at a cross roads and that's my new life. No true home. Always torn between two worlds. Two versions of myself.