A letter from Oct 23, 2025

Dear FutureMe, I'm writing this letter to be delivered in 1 year. You just read a letter from 1 year ago and it made you kind of sad; I'm hoping the opposite for this letter. And I think by writing it, we can focus now on hope and positivity as well. Today, you're in your caravan. Number 188. A month ago, you were trying so hard to make your relationship with Liam work. You hit your wall a little under 4 weeks ago. Amanda told you how she felt about Liam. Sarah told you how she felt. And then Liam was rude and disrespectful and it was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back; the 1000th papercut that finally brought about *****. 2 weeks ago tomorrow, you moved in here and all you felt was relief. It is OK to be sad about where you thought you'd be vs where you are, but here's the thing: you were not where you thought you'd be. Leaving didn't cause this, it already was. You were unhappy, anxious, riddled with insecurities and anger. Your depression was worsening ONLY because of the relationship. The leg, well yes of course that had an impact. But the impact was bigger, because of how he was. He "helped" you, and used it as a weapon. He threatened you. Every day, in tiny but consistent ways, he belittled and criticised you. This was never the life you wanted, nor the life you deserved. Some days are hard now. The urge to eat sneaks in. But you are not crying, you are able to talk back to the negative inner critic, you are working your programme. The caravan is actually quite tidy! Especially considering your limited mobility. You're doing so, so well, because you left. You can now focus on your recovery in all ways: recovery from the ankle injury, recovery in OA, recovery from a broken heart. It doesn't feel that acute, and that's because the heart was broken many months ago. You know you loved him, and don't know that you still do; he broke that. You do not love the man who calls you names, doesn't appreciate and treasure you, doesn't fill your life with laughter and partnership. But you do love yourself. You KNOW you are worth so much more. I won't try to predict what life might look like when you read this. So much is changing and that is OK. But I do believe you will be happy. I do believe you will be free. And I do believe, if it's not worked out yet, it just means it isn't finished yet. Lots of love, 2025 Me xxx