A letter from Oct 15, 2025

Hi Mahnoor, I hope you are doing well, are happy with Basil and are not indulging in self-destructive thoughts (although I am working on it going through our past emails, I think you are always unable to break these cycles). I know when you get hurt or are feeling some things you don't want to share (like I am nowadays), you distant yourself from Basil. Don't do that, he has a very tiny and genuine heart. I know he doesn't show affection like you do but he loves you, way more than you love yourself. Always remember that and always be sincere to him. He would never do anything to hurt you, you can let all your fears go. As far as practical goals are concerned, by this time next year, I want to be done(/ or at least start) with B2. I hope you have started earning some money. Also, I want to have at least started working on my thesis. One year feels like a long time but it passes by quickly. There are days I am not thankful for my life with Basil, I forget how much I wished for this life and what an amazing life partner he is (even though he did things in the past that broke you). I want you to let the past go, I want you to be happy with where you are now. You wished for this life with everything you had, you should make the most of it. I love you, I know most days I make you feel like I don't, I say I hate you more often than I say I love you, but you are a good person, just a bit complicated and just a bit sad. Don't ever stop being nice. Take care of yourself and my beautiful pyaru. Kiss him for me as well. There is a lot I want to say but I don't want to type more. Maybe I will write again in a few days, who know.