A letter from Oct 11, 2025

Dear FutureMe, Hi, Diana here. Its been a week or two since I planned to write you this. This week, I feel so lonely and empty. I can't be genuinely happy. I feel like there is nothing real joy I can feel anymore. ****, I'm so sad, really really sad. I started a job last week - st. lukes baby, but it doesn't make me happy, not even a little. Maybe, I miss being with the four, the times and joys we shared - I miss that. Also, that guy? who I became so interested and got me thinking if I am in love or just limerence. Oh my gosh, idk, but I've been thinking about him everyday for almost 3 months now like cRaZyyYy! I don't know what got into me, but this is the first time I thinked about someone for so long - nonstop. This year 2025, ****, I've been through a lot. This year made me experience all the pain a human can get. Mama, I miss you so much. Im crying right now, how I wish even just you will stay with me forever. First, my OJT. I did not really gain from that. I could have gotten more. That *** laude thing? how i wish i knew that. Month of January. The next month. Unexpectedly, without a conscious way to say goodbye, you left us, mama. That hurts, mama. That was so heavy, weakening and a big part of me tear off. I literally felt my heart broke into pieces. Anywhere I look in your house, I am seeing your image. Everything you're doing back then to every corner of your house, I see how diligent you are just for the sake of you still being useful, because I know you never want to be burden to anyone and always wanted to show us that you are an inspiration, that not doing anything is not an option. You made me realize that in life, no matter how hard the situation is, I should just keep moving, moving and moving - no excuses. I love you, mama. An oppurtunity landed me to be an HR from where I did my OJT. Declined because... Another tragedy happened, my daddy. I never expected this, that was so unbelievable. I planned the next chapter of my life with almost all the scene with you. I want you back, daddy. The daddy I used to be with. The daddy that never get tired of buying me my cravings, accompanying me to the places I need to go even though he's already tired from work, listening to my rants about my struggles within our family and the one who gives strength to everyone within our family. Our strength is now at its weakest. Daddy, I really hope you recover. I miss you, daddy and I'm so sorry. At the hospital, thinking if I should stay and just take care pf my dad or go get that job instead. I initially stay, but it came to the point that it doesn't seem practical to stay when we are struggling financially. So then, I go back to Marikina to start a job. They offered me a position at st. lukes and asked me to add 3 more that I can be with. Unexpectedly, they made my job experience there more memorable. That was insanely delightful experience to everyone of us. I'll continue tomorrow...