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Dear Future Keely, I stopped making these for a while, but I want to continue. This is going to deliver in six months, and hopefully by then things will be better. Today, I cried all day. Yesterday was hannah's homecoming and i dont know what happened but i shut down. I didnt wnt to dance or do anything. I just stood there. The day before that was sarahs homecoming. She looked so beautiful. It was great except for the fact that sophia now likes joe mama. I like joe mama too. we all know who joe mama is going to like more. Freaking sophia. shes so pretty and i cant even blame him. he taled to her so much that day and barely said anything to me. How long is this going to go for. i didnt ask for any of this. I ruined hannahs homecoming and she couldve bright anyone else. I dont fit in anywhere. Like i do t have out with imee that much anymore and angelina is always with her. Angelina. i dont know why everyone lieks her when shes so mean to epople who are different from her. thats why i domt know how she feels about me because so many of the poeple i hang out with she bullies. im just letting this out because i have no one that i can say all of this to. maybe by the end of this year i will, but thats just gonna give me false hope. i thunk thats all i wanted to say. kidding. violin is giving me so much trouble right now. his happened kast year also, but this time is worse. bear with me as i try to be optimistic: i am going over a large learning hump right now, and there are so many tears on my violin. my eyes hurt on the sides from crying and they were red. but i know i, getting better i js cant prove it yet. i feel it but i cant feel it. maybe future me will though. maybe she will know i got better. have i gotten better (rememebr quitting isnt an option). Sorry for the typos Visions of Gideon - Sufjan Stevens