no subject

hi, itz october 5, my birthday nor our birthday. we both know that every year that this day would come but not every single of that days has been happy. no cake, no susprises, no excitement, no joy, no people, and no family, js a another ****** up day. what can I do? this always happens, especially if there's an special occasions nor events. all the problem and trauma will suddenly visits you on a random time, and it felt like they were js made yesterday, but in fact it was all in past, you can never escape a blue birthday glecy. and btw I received the other message from my past self, she is so cheerful to her words towards me yet all she can think that time is a ******* suicide, and that was also about that message. but thanks to her, made my day a little bit. well, to you, for you, maybe try to love your self more and be confident, also you always said that, they should always choose their selves, well **** you, appky it to ur self. and stop relying to people, in with ur families. love u heueheue