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Dear FutureMe, i didn’t write a letter for my last birthday, but that’s okay, better late than never haha. well, i’m still in the us but counting the hours, minutes and seconds to go back to brazil, which is in one month!! i mean, almost—one month and two days, to be more precise hehe. i’ve been kinda anxious these last few days, i wasn’t sleeping at all, but now i’m feeling much better. still a bit out of place, but yeah, i guess that feeling will pass when i finally leave this country. i don’t like living here. i never did. i tried, i really tried so hard, but i don’t think i ever found a place for me here. the whole situation... i mean, if i were still an au pair, maybe things would’ve been different, but i can’t really think about “if,” right? we never know. but i do have good feelings about my life. not the way i expected when i was younger, but maybe the way it’s meant to be. i know a lot of things didn’t go how i dreamed, but that’s okay too. i believe everything happens for a reason. or maybe i am the wrong reason, i don’t know. i just know that i’m too young to know everything. maybe i’ll never know anything. life is this little door full of surprises. i hope that when i read this letter next year on my birthday, at least i’m doing well. that i’m off meds, sleeping better, living a peaceful life with my boyfriend, and not giving my mom so much work—please. i wrote so many letters this year, i don’t really think i need one more for my 26th birthday. but here it is anyway. i hope i’m proud of the person i’m becoming. i hope i learned to breathe before panicking. i hope i’ve been softer with myself, less cruel in my thoughts. i hope i’ve laughed more, talked to people who feel like home, and stopped apologizing for taking up space. and if not… it’s okay. there’s time. always time. happy birthday to me <3