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Dear Future me, It's Past me from 30th September 2025. Right now...things are not going as planned. I am unemployed so I have no money. No one is hiring me. I got my heart broken for the first time a month ago and he's moved on with someone else. Good times :D. I don't think i've cried this much all my life. Is this rock bottom? Sad, umeployed, boyfriendless, heartbroken, directionless and with too much time on my hands. I chose 6 months in the future instead of 1 year because i hope things improve soon and quickly. I want so much out of life and everything is so far out of reach. Please Universe show me how good it gets. Taylor Swift's album The Life of a Showgirl is coming out this friday so that's something to look forward to atleast. What your favourite song? I'm sure you have everything memorized by now. - Let's start with The Job; I don't know what i want to do with my life. I want to be great at something. I think i want to go back to Uni for something but we have no money and I don't know what i like/am good at. I still don't know how to drive. I'll figure it out. But i've been saying that for the last 3 months. I feel like a loser. - The Boy; It started out good in May, with problems yes but it could've been talked out. I really liked him, i think i loved him...only realized that after we broke up in August. However, he got really mean at the end. He did things my future boyfriend would NEVER. But i really really really really like him. I'm moving on slowly but surely. A month ago I woke up every 2 hours with a pit in my stomach and swollen eyes checking my phone praying to see a text from him. So even a month later, there's already an improvement. I know it was really short, we weren't even officially bf and gf, and had so so many flaws, we had so many things in common, conversation just flowed so naturally, he was my best friend and my most favourite person for those months. The ending was so abrupt, he changed so quickly and did things I had no idea he was capable of, now i can see him for what he really is. At the beginning/middle, he was so sweet and patient (they always are, isn't it?), I was so hooked on this new drug. But, I got many lessons out of it, some life experience and I truly think i've grown so much (it's only a month but i feel different, more understanding, more mature, just different idk how to explain it). He was not who i thought he was, he needs to work on himself instead of running to an ex but who am i to judge. I can see him for the immature, disrespectful, cold, cruel boy that he is. I know what you are Martin. So it's for the best we go on our seperate ways. He's going to meet many people at Uni and continue his tendencies, and I still haven't met all the people that are going to love me yet. I hope by the time you read this, it'll just be a memory that doesn't hurt anymore and you're completely over him. You might even look back on it with more understanding than i feel right now. While i want to say never trust a man (and don't, look out for red flags and be cautious), but secretly, deep deep deep down, love and let yourself be loved, without any regrets. Because before this boy, i did not know i was even capable of it. All my love, C P.s. I hope we're still doing pilates/yoga bc my stomach has never looked better :)))