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Dear FutureMe, Dear FutureMe, HI !!! it’s Bene from 7th Sept 2025 BRO SO MANY THINGS HAVE HAPPENED a letter from 2022 came and i LOL’d, was talking about how i gave my life to christ at some church. well im 2 and half years deep in that church. ngl my life has changed. i know jesus now. i know him wayyy too much to turn back on him. i’m definitely different. bene has changed. new friends. new house. i’m at uni. about to enter 2nd year, more times i had dropped out of year 13 lol. doing music business LMAO. i’m still scared. still struggle with fear, having greater faith. believing God that it’ll change by the time i read this again. my faith will grow. bro, im about to start KOC, a christian fellowship at uni. i’m absolutely SCARED. i don’t feel prepared. ngl i did pray for this, but I feel like i’ve mocked God. i’m not where i’m meant to be in my christian walk. mercy this sounds so selfish, but i do believe God that this KOC will change my life forever. and im not even talking about physical. i’m talking about spiritual. i want to Know God. i feel like I know Him, but i don’t actually Know Him. Like I don’t know the Holy Spirit. I do but, it feels so surface level at times. Bro, God saved me. He really did. And why? only by his mercy but there’s an agenda, and i need to know and fulfil. I feel like sometimes i don’t have a heart for God cos why don’t i do the things im meant to do. my service towards God is not built with precious stones. if it were to be tested by fire it’ll burn to ashes lol. My intimacy with him is so poor, and it’ll reflect in KOC. I know it will. it’s so bad. But i’m believing God that KOC will change that. I just want to meet Jesus during KOC. And say that I really do know Him. I personally walk with him. I know him intimately. And i never have doubts about our relationship. God please. lol i don’t know what else to say bc i keep complaining to God about the same thing it feels like. I haven’t even done my SFE . lol. i just want to know Jesus.