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Time Travelled — 12 months

Peaceful right?

Dear 20 year old me, I seem to have forgotten to write a letter to myself for when I turn 19 so I am making sure to write one for when I turn 20. Things have been going very well recently, my rota with virology has came to a close and I am about to start my rota with Myco, Glasshouses and Seeds (surprisingly). My progress with the KSBs has came along very well which is great, by the time you get this you will have already gotten the results and I cant imagine myself getting anything less than a distinction on the apprenticeship, for the level 4 there is a chance I only get a merit but that is more than enough. I wonder what decision I make in years time, I have most things already planned out and I doubt my thinking will have changed much but it would be interesting if I read this and smile knowing I had some grand revelation that altered my path. My current thinking is that I will likely go for the Level 6 apprenticeship in biomedical science with either the navy or the army (whichever takes me really). Though I do hope I am able to look at my belly and see not a belly but a splendid 6 pack otherwise my chances of getting in are slim. I "promise" to put in the work now so that I dont have to worry when the time comes. But, onto the really exciting stuff, the game. As of right now I am working on the event handling and the cutscenes and am having quite a bit of fun with it. When I receive this letter it should be around the time when I release the game so I do hope my productivity didn't falter. Right now I envision the most difficult hurdle will be the drawing since I have a bit of a mental block when it comes to drawing. Additionally the sound and music design will be ROUGH. I know for certain that as long as I put in the effort I can learn to draw however making music may be an unsurmountable wall (as much as I like music). There is, of course the good possibility that I gave up but im not sure, I find game dev quite fun when im not distracted by youtube and there is the motivation of money. Regardless I wish you the best of luck. I also hope I got my spending habits under wraps. I am really not proud of how I am doing things right now. On multiple fronts I need to fight the temptations of my brain but it is very much like my brain is overwritten when it comes to cravings. I hope that I become disciplined enough to actually make it to the navy. Finally, I wonder if I have any new friends. It is unlikely due to my nature, it is something I have really started to realise lately that I have kinda "forgotten" what it felt like to have friends, and especially a girlfriend. Logically I should be concerned that I am feeling this way, but I dont feel lonely. Towards this thing I know is an "issue", I only feel apathy. It doesn't affect me as much as it should, its like I lost something and forgotten how to even want it in the first place. Regardless of wether I fix this issue or not I think I will be fine, I dont even plan on staying in York, and when I move to Birmingham (reluctantly) I wont even be planning on staying longer than I need to either. Any friendships I make aren't likely to last. But that isn't the primary issue nor is it the secondary or tertiary. I will sort this out eventually as I do want to have a family, but there is a good chance I don't sort it out before I turn 20. I can only imagine things getting better from here, with the release of the first episode of the game this winter any extra money I get will further propel me towards my goals (along with the full release next August). But most importantly I hope I am happy, above all else that is all that I truly desire. As always, You must carry on (Yes, this is a reference, you better understand it) Thanks Your 19 year old self.

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