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Dear FutureMe, Hi! I was scrolling kanina on my email (keanajoyceee) which I rarely use because it's not a decent email, beside I wanted to separate my work email to my other email. Anyway, just for another short context, I was using this email because I used this to send yung requirements (sa factset) ko sa main email ko. Then I noticed that mostly of my received email is from futureme kineme, and it was reminding me to write on my future self again. So ayun naalala ko rin kasi na nag gawa na ko ng email here before eh. So hinahanap ko yun, but I know na sobrang tagal na non, I guess 2020 something? But to my surprise, gumawa pala ulit ako ng email for my future self nung 2023 and it was sent to me this year (2025) on March. Pero di ko nabasa, syempre WHAHAHAHA. Goods lang kasi di pa ko graduate non. The messages highlights kasi about me finishing college and applying for work, which is mas timely as of now. Siguro nag sulat din ako ng another email that time kasi nareceived ko na yung dating email ko na ganto, which I will also do right nowwwww. Message to my past self na alam kong di mababasa to WAHAHAHHA: So, Hi again! You're right during the time that I read my letter, I already finished my degree, last May 06, 2025. And yesss, sobrang stress ako maghanap ng work. Ang daming nangyari from 2023-2025. You wouldn't believe me when I say I survived all of that. Also, sorry to say that when you mentioned about me being confident... I didn't become one. Back to zero na naman ako all over again. Minsan hindi ko talaga alam kung nasa maling field lang ako huhuhu. Kasi nung nag barista ako parang di naman ganto or panget lang talaga yung environment sa prev company and yung mindset ko and my friend this day. Anyway just wanted to add that, back in 2023 I got sick, nagkaroon tayo ng floaters and problems with pcos, which I still have up to this day, but I already adjust and started to accept it. Maybe, that's just how life goes, we just have to continue and accept things how it is. Tho I will not deny is still stress and bother me some time. But I have good news, last year, I decided to join a barista training in which I met a lot of people, which greatly affect my confidence and happiness. Diba kasi gusto mo talaga yun and nagulat ako nung pinasok ako ni mami dun kasi sabi niya bakasyon naman, tho medyo sumabay siya sa class ko, ang hirap ibalance non promise pero nakaya naman. That was also the time na sobrang depress ko sa floaters ko anteh, every friday ako nasa church or whenever i wanted to, lagi na rin ako naglalakad outside and nagnonotice ng bagay like skies, trees, play with cats, spend time with fam etc. Kaya naging blessing din talaga sakin yun in some point, kasi na pursue ko rin yung barista. Grabe, naalala ko pa rin yung peace na naramdaman ko that night kahit naglilinis ako ng mop HAGSHSHSHS EWAN KO BA BALIW NA ATA AKO. Kasi malapit yung sundaysunday sa tagaytay so malamig and katapat pa niya church then wala namang bahay masyado and kotse pag ganong time tsaka sa part na yun. Nagkaroon din ako ng friend (tho di ko na close ngayonhahahaha pero that's okay, at least naexperience ko yun!!) grabe yung want ko dati na di ko naman pinag pray or what naexperience ko, like going to our friend house na malapit lang samin to have some fun (drink and sing), and also mag coffee then hahatid ka nila pauwi. Grabe ang saya. After non nag continue ako sa studies ko. Then ojt, jo, and graduation. Although, di ganon kaganda yung memories ko sa xde (kung saan ako nag ojt and jo) nawalan ako ng confidence lalo that time, i feel left out. Since apat kami non, parang sila lang ang napapansin, probably kasi mas friendly, may looks and focused sila. While me? I'm just trying to go through each day. Natapat pa ko sa masungit na boss takteeeeee! IT WAS THE WORST!!!!!! May times na linggo pa lang naiiyak na ko kasi ayoko na😭 tapos minsan talaga may mga bagay na ang bilis mag bago which is kinda scary. Kasi honestly, during my first 4 months in that company masaya naman. Kahit hirap talaga makagets tas sobrang daming work. Tapos nakaclose ko pa non yung ibang ojt like group nina cheska and jm. Like I can't say na masungit lang talaga ako or shy kasi nagawa ko siya that time eh😭. As in kulitan pa kami lagi ni jm non di ko rin feel na nag oojt ako or work. But things doesn't always stay the way you like hays. After matapos ng 2024 ang daming nangyari...nawala na si jm, then before dec kasi nawala na rin sina cheska and friends, pati sina friends ni jm, then ang dami na napasok na ojt or jo from nov 2024 up to feb 2025. Basta ang daming nangyayari. Tapos si mam jo napilitan mag stay sa office everyday, unlike before na every friday lang siya nandun. And ayun... After non life never been colorful and the same anymore, sana pala di na lang ako bumalik sa purchasing hays. Kasi from feb to apr grabeee. Nawalan ako ng confidence and everyday ayoko na. Si maam jo lagi galit. Tas yung pinasok ni erine na ojt di ko close, pero close silang lahat kasi nagwowork sila madalas na sama sama sa conference room. As in lahat ng jo nakaclose nila kasi halos lahat dun nagwowork sa billing. Kaya ayun, I feel left out. One time yung bagong ojt kasi sa cvsu galing then nakita nila si hannah, eh nandun kami para sa grad clearance, pero inaantay namin si amanda. Then ayun dumating sila ojt tapos ATE KO LEFT OUT MALALA AKO😭😭😭😭😭😭 ALAM MO YUNG TODO CHIKA SILA SA KANYA TAS AKO SA ISANG TABI TULALA OR NAG CP LANGGG😭😭😭😭 I HATE THAT FEELING SHUTA BUTI KUNG DI KO KILALA EH NAKASAMA NAMIN YUN SA XDE. Kaya minsan naiinis ako sa sarili bat ayaw ki kasi magsalita?????? But then again narealize ko rin na, siguro kasi di ko sila kavibes. Kasi nagagawa ko naman siya sa iba eh. And that's okay self. Siguro di nila maiintindihan yun. Pero you know yourself, alam mo kung sino ka. Hayaan mo sila.💛 Anyway, back to apply apply grabe sabi ko talaga pag walang nag email sakin, I will pursue barista and service crew. Pero fortunately nag email yung factset, hoping lang na I made the right decision. Kasi balak ko rin mag starbucks if ever. Pero nasakto na nagsend na sakin ng JO nung time na may open house hiring. Hirap magdecide haa. Pero ewan ko ba nag go na ko dito kasi naisip ko na para sakin to, malaki sahod and magiging maganda tingin sakin ng relative and friends ko pag dun ako nag work sa BGC.😭 TAMA BA TO???? TO MAY FUTURE SELF: Sorry dami kong sinabi WHAHAHAHA nahuli pa yung sayo. So ayun, I wanted to tell you, to please... If ever hindi naging maganda yung journey natin sa factset. Leave. Umalis ka na. 25yrs old na tayo that time and I think that's enough to pursue naman yung gusto natin. Dalawa meaning niyang 25yrs old for me. First, sa loob ng 25yrs wala ka namang ibang ginawa bat to follow kung ano yung gusto nila, maganda sa tingin ng iba and everything. And ngayon na natry mo na and hindi ka pa rin satisfied maybe its time naman to try yung gusto natin. If hindi naman maging okay pwede ka ulit mag shift. Second, 25yrs old ka pa lang, if ever my failed ka, pwede ka pa bumawi, hindi pa katapusan ng mundo okay? It's okay to try than regret! Tho I know it will be more risky kasi mag change career tayo pero ahhhhh ewan. Ikaw lang makakasagot kasi ikaw yung nandyan na sa future! Makikita mo if maganda pa sa company mo now or not, but if not and if ever you found another opportunity, pursue it. Tsaka if ever naman na toxic din dyan and wala rin natulong sayo edi mas maganda nga na umalis ka na lang. Tsaka ang plan naman natin diba is to save money then go abroad? Malay mo diba maganda dun. Try try lang. Wala naman silang magagawa sa buhay natin but to judge and watch what will happen in the end. Then if mag failed tayo sa abroad, then go back. Take masteral, cse, then apply to government office or VA. I know sobrang hirap maghanap pero may tiwala ako sayo, makakahanap ka ng way. So ayun ginawa ko lang tong 1yr para mareceived mo agad haaaaaa. Ipag ppray kita every night (pag naalala ko WHAHAHAH sorry Lord huhu) na sana maging happy. Sana yung 1yr mo dyan maging maganda. Wag ka na mahiya. Show yourself! I wish you've found the right people that time who will care and love you. Sana isupport ka nila. Sana genuine talaga sila. Sana no more toxic beside you. Sana okay na mindset mo diyan. I wish you'll be surrounded with people who will lift you. Sana happy ka na that time. I will not say na siguro magaling ka na mag english that time BAHAHAHAHA NOT BECAUSE WALA AKONG TIWALA HA. But because I wanted you to just do what you can. Walang pilitan to. I accept you for who you are. Siguro wala ka pa rin jowa nito noh? WAHAHAHAHAH. That's okay at least more time with yourself, fam, and fur babiesssss. Huy alagaan mo sina luna, pepper, mocha and chino ha!!!😾 Ano pa baaaaaa. If ever man na wala tayong na accomplish that time sa bigger plans natin, don't forget to look back to see how far you've come. Look at the small winning you've made. Like for the past yrs (from 2023-2025), pero since 1 yr lang to isasama ko lang yung recent na nangyari from 2024-2025: - finished ojt, jo, and college - tried barista and working in aesthetic coffee shop - natanggap sa international company in taguig - nakapag traveeeeel sa aurora (nakapag island hopping na tayo and akyat sa mountain tho maliit lang) - dumami yung pusa (dati dream ko talaga and iniimagine ko lang if pano pag madaming pusa sa bahay and it happened) - magpa-braceee!!! (ITO TALAGA ULTIMATE DREAM NARIN BEFORE DIBA??? GRABE HUHU) - Magkaroon ng valid ID HAHAHAHA (KASI DI NATIN MA-VERIFY GCASH NATIN SHUTAA) AYAW NILA NG TIN BUSET - Concert sa gentri shet kumanta dun yung mga sikat na singer pero di ko maremember WHAHHAHA THO DI KO NAABUTAN YUNG IBA KAZI GUSTO KO UMUWI NG MAAGA JUSKO DZAI - NAKAPAG BEACH SA BATANGAS GRABE ANG SAYA DUN KAMING TATLO LANG NI ERINE AND ISANG FAM NANDUN PATI CARE TAKER TAKTE SOLO BUONG ISLA HAHAHAHAHA SUPER MEMORABLE THO ANG TOXIC NI ERINE KAINIS!! AND MANY MOREEEE DI KO NA MAALALA YUNG IBA WHAHAHAHAHA PERO IT JUST SHOWS NA MADAMI KA PANG MAACHIEVE KAHIT SA LOOB LAMG NG ONE YEAR KAYA DONT GIVE UP!!!! I LOVE YOU! WAG MO KALIMUTAN FAM MO HA. THEY ALSO NEED YOU KAHIT PARA SAYO TOXIC SILA MINSAN. ITS OKAY TO SET BOUNDARIES PERO MINSAN ITS BETTER TO ACCEPT THEM. BYE!!!!!!! ADVANCE HAPPY HAPPY BDAYY!!! BILI KA CAKE! DREAM KO YUN EHHHH SIGURO MAY PERA KA NAMAN NA KAYA DALI NAA!!!🥺🥺🥺