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Hey Sweet Pea, I hate how I be writing these letters at the most random times lol, but heeeeey!! I'm lying in my bed rn still feeling slightly crushed that I didn't get to see the cavemen It's eating me alive, it feels like its ******* consuming me... I'm so sorry this one is kinda negative i just dk I don't know. I just feel like i'm not doing enough with my life And it's irritating because I felt that way last summer but now I look back and I feel like I did just enough Hopefully I'll look back and think just the same too, please just tell me things get better. I don't want to put things in the air but I hope I'm dating a stud next year LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL a girl can dream no? But most importantly I hope I'm happy omg must ask though, did I finally fully ween myself off Ege? Ik I'm not talking to him rn because obvs the little tiff we had but I'm thinking if inviting him to the dele sosimi thing (that's if I even get the time off lol). My prediction is probably because i'll be in uni DUH. I had a brief pause because I can see you can send stuff to other people and I was thinking of sending one to Tom lol Like an ACTUAL letter from the future lol not a fake one cuz i miss him... I'll sleep on it I hope you do get to see Dele though and I hope you do what makes you happy even if that is texting the chopped 30 year old guy who was lowk - nahhhhhhhhh he's not obsessed with me he just liked me. did we ever get to find out how old Ege was? I'm assuming he's 28-30. Ijust want to be held, **** me I'm yearning okay. Maybe ovulating too. But yearning also. I've never felt so horny before; I think because I realised that there's actually a possibility that I might actually be able to have *** if it's with the RIGHT PERSON. idk. I just really want to have *** and enjoy it Can I invert on the pole now? Sorry had to ask, I hope so but it's okay if you cant bae i know you'll get there soon xx I really want to forget about this letter/email so it's a nice surprise when I come back and recieve it; Sankofa. Speaking of, did I get that Funtunfunefu Denkyemfunefu tat?? PLZZZZZ SAY YOU DID!!! I would personally get it for my 20th I love you And I miss Ege so much, I miss his soft hands and I want to pounce on him SO BAD but he's got too many issues for my liking and as problematic as this may seem, I hope I find someone else in uni to replace him. I honestly should do lol it's unfortunately easy but idk how much more my poor little heart can take lol. I'm just sick of being desired and not loved. I feel like with time Ege would definitely have loved me but the "sureness" of that belief was definitely tainted by his lustful action at the picnic and it makes me mad that my brain is so quick to glaze over that. When I say "lustful" I feel like I sound like those church people lol This is just a thought piece lol, I'm sorry it's not as packed out with rays of sunshine and positivity but I'm hoping that the silver lining of this letter/email will be how much I would have grown and blossomed in a years time. As always, I love you beautiful Lots of love, Sarah xxxxx