A letter from the past |

hey girl , how's life treating you? don't tell me you're still single gosh, just kidding , that's a good thing of course. the reason i wanted to talk to you tonight is because i watched the scott street video for the first time and i was just sitting outside with miko in the dark watching the sky. it's 4:10 am btw, you can imagine how creepy that'd appear to anyone else, but not to you, youd understand of course. it made me think about all the things i'll never be, i'll never be an astronaut or a doctor. kind of sucks when you think about it, life is pretty limiting. imagine all the books i'll never get to read or the movies i won't get to see. anyways it's all just a pretty existential night, and i thought i need to talk to my future self right now and tell her some things no one else will ever tell her. and some things that surprisingly people haven't told me. you're 18 by now and graduated high school which is INSANE to think about, and i'm not gonna make u feel too much like **** about it, because it's a huge accomplishment. it's not something you should be moping around about although i know you probably are. high school wasn't that good anyway alright. but hey, you're about to start a new chapter probably soon, and i want you to know that you'll always be you. you will absolutely always be you. no matter who the hell tells you you aren't who you used to be or that you're too immature, or childish, or too much of a prude or scaredy cat, or that you're mean or bossy or whatever it may be, you're you and that's you. or were us, i'm not really sure how to word this lol. it doesn't matter where being yourself may take you, be that. no matter what. only you know who you are girl. next, please, for the love of god and you know abt I'm about to say, don't take a moment for granted. look, i know you try but seriously if i could do anything over i'd remember as much as i could from my past. as l dad said, "you don't start living until you start remembering". that means you need to remember the smells, the people around you, the feelings in every moment to truly live them. you cant go back girl, only ever forward, remember the feelings, every single one of em. Finally, don't rush, you're not too old or too young, you're exactly where you're supposed to be right now. the world is spinning and floating around in a rock, 18 might sound crazy old to you, but there are 70 year olds who want to be where you are, but they are where they're meant to be and so are you. don't worry about the future so much, easier said than done huh. it'll all fall into place when and where it needs to, but for now you're you and you're doing amazing. believe me i know 1000000% that i'm proud of you. you got through the ********* parts of school, now it's time to start living the life you want, building it and becoming whoever you're meant to become. you've got this girl, i believe in you. i love you melanie, but you knew that already, jsut tell yourself more often, promise? and hey, don't be a stranger okay? write me a letter sometime :)