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Dear FutureMe, merhabalar!! nasılsın? hayat nasıl, ne var ne yok so many things happened since 3 years, surprisingly i made it out alive surviving 2 earthquakes yes that's been on my mind since yesterday, me and Rey were at the cinemas watching the F1 movie when the earthquake 6.1 happened i lived another one on 23, April 2025 You know i changed a lot, still not mature There is a lot to learn in this life, the more you know the more you think that you know nothing and realize that there is still more to learn than when you started learning. Uni is meh, it is different than school, maybe more privilige looking but not as heartwarming as school. I did not make much friends at college, i sometimes think i am not meant to associate much with human beings but i actually would like to be around people in the future. i realized that eventhough i am not the loud one, and I seem like I hate people , i do though like to be around them especially in the subway. It is nice to see how diff we are being on the same voyage (idk the english word pardon). before uni, school was choatic, many people left and joined, i did not get to be a valedoctarian despite my hard work which made me mad, the school was too ignorant that i took 5 APs while the valedoctarian was chosen just because she got higher grades than me with zero APs. My sisters grew to be my best friends, dad cheated on mom, and let me tell you, that's when i relaized the improtance of being educated, it can be your backup plan, my mom does not have one so she pathetically stayed with my dad. Despite cheating, my dad grew to be more religous but like he is growing up idk, i also realized that no one ever feels good for your sucess even your mom, i see her greediness in her eyes and she does not want to see me successful or better than her, i am scared my personality changes into mom's and i be like her, my biggest fear. I am scared of missing out i am scared of being alone i am scared of staying fat i am scared of not knowing French, Dutch, Turkish, German, and italian i am scared of not reading many books and missing out i am scared of not making friends in uni i am scared of not reaching my potential also i have been struggling with anxiety, i got a toxic friend at uni which just wanted to get into fights, she ***** left uni idk i will be off alone better pff this seems like diary not a legit letter pardon!! be better than everyone Don't you ever fall for hormone-induced love relationships be as pretty as you can cuz nothing feels as good as skinny feels and work so **** hard that your future children look at you as a role model rather than an influencer love u so much take care hun 10:44 AM XOXO