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Dear Vicky, This is probabbly the biggest plot twist you could've ever imagined, but here it goes: you live in Brazil now, at your sister's house with your family, you speak portuguese fluently, you work in logistics and havent set foot in Venezuela in 10 months. You miss home deeply, the way the voices of brothers and sisters sound at the Kingdom Hall in Caribe, the salt water on your skin when you dip in the ocean, warm arepas and empanadas de carne mechada, preaching on weekends and planning trips to places where you have to walk kilometers to find people but you enjoy it. You are creating a home here. You are making new friends and trying to understand jokes in portuguese, you are saving money to move with mom and Chellita and you are also looking at a nice wood table that you'd love for your own home with them. I'll be honest, you are very far at the moment from doing the hours of the goal, but you love ministry, and you love people, that hasn't changed and I doubt it ever will. You just went to the Pioneers School, it was awesome. You met brothers and sisters from different countries, they studied so hard and knew so much about the Bible and preaching, but most importantly, they loved people and Jehovah deeply, and you learned from each one of them. You'll be glad to know that you made amazing comments, well prepared and from your heart. You love Jehovah too, you'll always will. You are trying, everyday. You wake up and work on a job you never imagined you would do and 8 months ago knew nothing about, but you are doing well, your boss likes your work. You save money and do your best to take care of your family in the ways you can, you've grown and that makes me so, so proud. You go to preach and speak in portuguese, still from the bottom of your heart, and you keep trying to find those people who said yes to talk again. You try to make people laugh, and you are nice, and kind and show true love, even when you just want to cry because you miss home so bad and people are so mean without noticing. You take a deep breath at home even when you feel diminished and so not wanted, but I promise, everything is gonna be fine, tell me, it is, right? Your mental health is... there. You found an amazing therapist and you are going to therapy, which is amazing. You are learning to not see the world from one pole or the other, but the way it really is, you'll learn. I'm proud of you. Honestly, Julio feels so far away. And no, he hast proposed, he actually told you he doesnt want to get married soon because he wants to spent more time growing and doing the things he wants to do by himself, he wishes that for you too. It hurted, it still hurts because you felt so ready. Ready to save all the money you could and move back to Venezuela, to work with all the things you know how to do to live there with him, to cook and clean, to love him everyday. But he didn't felt ready. And thats okay, right? He loves you, and you love him. Its just that... you are not 19 anymore, and life takes people in different paths. However this ends, I want you to know that theres nothing wrong with you, with the love you give and want to receive, I mean, yes, you have to learn to be balanced and again, not poles, center and reality. But Vick, you are lovable, and smart, spiritual, very, very kind and sweet, beautiful in every aspect and you have so much to give. There's love within you, and while you are you, it will never stop existing. Never stop loving, yourself and others. Eres un ser de luz y amor, iluminas el mundo y créeme, lo hace un lugar mejor. If theres something youve learned from this experience, is that theres nothing you cant do with Jehovah's help. You are so creative and clever, smart and kind. You can do anything you set your mind to. It'll be fine, okay? I promise, it always has. And thank you, for taking care of me. You are a little ****** sometimes, but I feel your love, everyday. Im sure 9, 13, 16, 19 and 22 years old Vicky are very grateful with you, thanks for loving us and taking care of us. Give yourself a hug, okay? You deserve it, all of the love in the world. I wish you a sunny day and a empanada de carne mechada con malta at home, wherever that is now. Love, Vick Ps: are abraham and yorliangels still together? La Vinotinto fue al mundial? Comenzaste a estudiar diseño grafico y sabes algo de francés? Fuiste a Machu Picchu y Rio de Janeiro? Qué pasó chama? Ponte las pilaaas pues. Jajaja un abrazo