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To you, a year from now, July 31, 2025. I wasn’t able to go to school today, missed Ethics class and we were supposed to write a letter to ourselves as an activity, so I’m doing this just cause I like doing these. So, to you, a year from now. I wonder how far you’ve grown from now? I had a dream writing to Sir Ced that I wouldn’t be able to go to school cause I wasn’t feeling good, and in my dream he wrote back with full support and reassurance like he always does. He made sure I wouldn’t feel guilty for missing the last day of class, even if it was all in my head and in reality I didn’t contacted him haha. It’s amazing how just reaching out to someone can change so much. That little act of bravery of ours booking an appointment was actually significant in the grand scheme of things, despite you cringing whenever we remember how we handled during it. But a year from now, we’re probably tackling our capstone research/pitching right now. I want you to be really, really into our topic. Never do your capstone just because it sounds good to the judges, we’re not doing it for them, it’s for us. Please, please don’t force yourself into doing stuff you will hate and ultimately regret. Try the things you really want, and if you fail, it will still feel rewarding. As an artist… hmm, I actually don’t know. I hope you became an artist whose art style is recognizable. I don’t want you to stick to a box/typical genre. Please keep drawing the things you really hate, the things you don’t expect to bring you progress. It’s hard but it helps a lot when you’re struggling to pick up a pen. The above feels so strict so I’m starting again hdhsjhd. So hey. Currently we’re at the last weeks of our 2nd year life. We’re going to be Juniors soon. What we feel right now is tiredness, fear, anxiety, depression, and loneliness. I’m never one to hide things from us since we never let others read this you see. What were we afraid of? Does it seem trivial in retrospect? …This is a hard thing to ask but I hope you don’t falter. You have to be strong and I know you can do it, but please ask for help if you can’t handle it anymore. It’s better than beating yourself up. You’ll only get bruises, you won’t get anything out of it… please be kinder to yourself— love yourself, even. It’s a hard thing but Nanay Tessie recently passed away. It’s been really hard, I’ve been missing her so much. All the little things used to mean the most to me, it’s one of my biggest regrets to not greet her in the morning before I left. Circumstance, I always left really early in the morning. The last time I felt her hand was really cold, it scared me, I only ever want to remember her embraces as warm and comforting. The thing that we learned is, it can happen at any time. You might be worried it might be your mom, your dad, your brother, or anyone else. But it could be you next. It’s really ****** up but YOU have to worry about yourself first. Eat, sleep, rest, go out, spend for yourself, anything to make you happy. Do not ever think for anyone else first. It’s time for you to value yourself first in your life, you never know if it’ll end early. On the topic of gender… hshshsjah I wonder if you’ve gone femme. Nowadays I’ve been so open to the idea of being trans. I want to use the Genderfluid label right now but leaning Masc. A lot of the issues I’m facing right now are circling back to how I look. Insecurities are letting me doubt myself. It does scream trans! Tranny! Omg im sorry for that zBut ITS HOW I FEEL. IDk it does raise a lot of flags and I’m too scared right now to face them. But, what I do want to advise is that please do everything you can to feel right about yourself. Do makeup late at night so no one else can see it, grow out your hair, buy clothes. Anything. You might feel stupid. It’s the only thing that you remember feeling. And that’s just our little secret. Do not let anyone else make you feel that way though. Jealousy to others, feeling ugly, being depressed, and everything you’ve been feeling can all bomb an abortion clinic and go to hell. You don’t deserve any of this! It’s just honestly something you have to scream at but still face. Unfortunately our life isn’t ever going to be poetic, it’s not going to be comedic either. You are not and never will be the stars , but what you are is the moon. Helpful and meaningful to others.