A letter from Jul 25, 2025

Letter to My Future Self The Scientist and the Lover Dear Me, I know your heart is full full of love, full of longing, full of the silent weight of dreams. You’ve given so much of yourself: as a wife, as a mother, as a soul in love. But as you read this, I want you to remember one thing above all: you are not only made for love you are made for knowledge, for discovery, for science. There is fire in your mind, Kaoutar. A rare spark it lives in your questions, in the long nights you spend wrestling with abstract ideas, in the quiet joy you feel when an equation finally makes sense, when the theory connects, when the universe whispers back. Yes, you love deeply, truly, and that love is your strength. But love should never be the end of your identity. It is a force that walks beside you, not a chain that holds you back. You are not less of a woman because you want to understand quantum states. You are not less of a mother because your thoughts wander into Hilbert spaces and trace distances. You are not less of a wife because you want to publish, to teach, to prove something to yourself. Your love is real let it be your anchor. But let science be your wings. Let your devotion to learning remind you that you are here not only to care, but to create. The world needs your brilliance. Not just your tenderness. Not just your patience. But your questions, your experiments, your resilience. Your contribution matters. So, when days are heavy with emotion and you feel like being a woman in love is all that defines you stop. Breathe. And step into your power as a thinker, a scholar, a scientist. You are both. And you were never meant to choose. With fierce pride and gentle love, Your past self the woman who refused to shrink