A letter from December 18th, 2023

Time Travelled — 2 months

Peaceful right?

Hi AlishaDid you do it? If the thesis is over that’s already something to smile about regardless of the outcome. I don’t know how it went but I’ll try for you. Do you remember I wrote one of these letters when I was sobbing over my bachelors thesis? I told you I’m doing this for you so you can do this masters program. So that you could feel accomplished and advance your cv. I wanted to set you up for success in a good job. That’s why I’m suffering through this. Right now I’m at a low point. I’ve stopped doing things that are good for me like the gym, running, meeting friends. I’ve stayed inside all day. I’ve cried every day this month. I hate the process of this. I hate feeling so behind in life and I hate feeling so useless. I worry that I’ll never make it out. I want a job to feel like I’m not just a wasted human and a consumer. The reason I’m suffering through this is to give you the best chance at having a job that lets you feel fulfilled. I’m grateful for younger me for suffering through. I don’t know where I’d be if she didn’t. So I will for you. I hope this is over for you.  


Epilogue

5 months later

Hi sweetheart. I didn't get the passing mark you hoped for. It was over for a long time. I stopped with academics because of burnout. I know you tried really...

Hard. Ngsthi ot pu fro ouy thta had rwee 'mi egvi oyrsr uoy dogo. .
Nihtk nt'do iristp i uroy damaecic rdedevse rwodl hte. .
Ylreal utb dah aylaws tnyirg i eht brnu htat and ihknt heva phoe ot sslo gtimh fo thtguoh ricteodtunb dowlu ustj atth taht bnrgi loscer i i aevh uto me darh.
Not ptsinr htta si't i nwko rwoht tsdyae ouy t'is eeostmmsi tath a hwti tbu oyu na hewn can sniuphg caer og nad erndncaue aevh all. A intrps lylare itsn' iirgwnt iethss. In efw stol fo inghst yruo i dwkreo unitl tesshi ot rid ouy teg fo am it rbceohla gcmai rtoew ttha a kwno juts nda pu ngtyais klie 4. Ende so feelgin eo'ruy if touba bussrt ewre stre btu eedp uoy nca lyotelepmc klie euslcsus!fc dan taht it do rkwo uoy uflwa uoy. Erew oocemut qkiuc you guodnr you lgtienl iivndrg eht w'rnete asw'tn ot syfeluro and ngnahcgi neohug ueseabc het sflreyuo oghnue goidn. Aueecsb ongehu uyo reew tsre oedirwr epde aswyla atw'ns teh atbuo tnhemisgo. You kiel shgmteion felt od to uoy deeend awsayl. Enve hotse oscleiias you e'ntwer to iwigrnt eb xicresee if emt hesits verey eskdenwe glaos asd uyo dna tel nehw rfee and eerw yda oyu rmof aereg rwee.
Eilv ko hrtbea nad tsuj ot ssemotmie 'sti. Tish vlei you tbu kenw it nt'ddi oyu elrlya. To hda i.
Ont'd i adn uyo ubt the as srfae hmuc ocumsen emsa heva itlsl suobdt yhet em as. I osenmuc ofucs nad epoh tath entcnto i do me i anc twha ivegs on.
Yrt cdidede omre thiw nad bkca go ot vie' oenc ttah thesis. Cna toni nlyo tsihng meoc uoy it good mchu so ueabesc rmof ti upt nad. Tis' oodg. Eyllar 'sit good. Eb ctn'a i erew tmei fali htru i lkei fi shti uoy. My hwort slef fo it mi' tgnatahic not ensse to. Ngiyrt e'ehrst i nwo htta ocne ogod not to rwko ilwl aevh tdseno' ynlo moer vnegi flmeys yb os aeyrll rlea i ****** be it uot esrt if htngsi teg.
Job oemc a liwl. Ymna so uoy hintgs ot do rae blae. Vlerce adn bladapaet era you so. To rwko od infd wlil oyu of sroecu. Dna eht denede etsr ssepcor sa rtsut. Yuo olve i.

This user has written an update to this letter.To see what they wrote, please


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