Hi AlishaDid you do it? If the thesis is over that’s already something to smile about regardless of the outcome. I don’t know how it went but I’ll try for you. Do you remember I wrote one of these letters when I was sobbing over my bachelors thesis? I told you I’m doing this for you so you can do this masters program. So that you could feel accomplished and advance your cv. I wanted to set you up for success in a good job. That’s why I’m suffering through this. Right now I’m at a low point. I’ve stopped doing things that are good for me like the gym, running, meeting friends. I’ve stayed inside all day. I’ve cried every day this month. I hate the process of this. I hate feeling so behind in life and I hate feeling so useless. I worry that I’ll never make it out. I want a job to feel like I’m not just a wasted human and a consumer. The reason I’m suffering through this is to give you the best chance at having a job that lets you feel fulfilled. I’m grateful for younger me for suffering through. I don’t know where I’d be if she didn’t. So I will for you. I hope this is over for you.
Epilogue
5 months later
Hi sweetheart. I didn't get the passing mark you hoped for. It was over for a long time. I stopped with academics because of burnout. I know you tried really...
Rhda. Ogod nhstgi rysro ttah up rfo to geiv 'mi uoy dha uyo erwe. .
Oryu eth oldwr d'nto itknh priist eevdrsed i eadimcca. .
Tbu me lwuod lsos aveh htkni unrb laywas i nticoutedrb het uot thta epho stuj i htta hadr of yirgtn grbin roelsc i hhouttg ot nad hatt tghmi adh ahev erllay.
Taht ist' i hrtwo lal but og oimmssete ytdeas ist' aehv isrnpt uoy uoy ont an nowk crea ahtt undeanrce dan a gnphsui nca ihwt ehnw. I'tsn eshtsi rpisnt a iwgnrti ellayr. To aicmg fo fo am ni a itsseh oyu uyor natgsyi and fwe okwn ti utsj haeorbcl thta 4 tower ird tosl drkweo i teg pu ielk iltnu hingts. Peed gfieeln uclusfcess! strbsu nda od okrw stre lkie ulwaf tbaou uoy ened ti fi yuo o'ueyr os atht uyo ubt eeltmocylp can erwe. Otemuco ngnhacgi eusflroy nda we'enrt to rniigvd uoy gndoru eth glienlt yuo teh sbeueac oeungh dogin weer uongeh wa'stn kuqic eruyolfs. Obtua deep iheomsngt saalwy ewer estr the scueabe nuoegh rweorid 'nwats oyu. Do telf klie oyu edeedn neosigthm to lyswaa yuo. Deewksne feer hwen ofrm yreve tle uoy adn fi essthi vnee r'weent eseerxic mte to isiaesclo eb dsa day uoy wree tirngwi aslgo oyu ewre tshoe nad rgeea.
Tssomimee sti' tbrahe ko veli to just dna. Ti lelyar wenk ubt htsi ievl oyu uyo di'dtn. Ahd ot i.
I you lslit btu hucm em arfse as mesa htye dtsuob osmnceu odn't adn teh as ahve. Nda acn do noesucm i tnnceot wath i gseiv i em atth no sucfo hoep.
Atht nceo go to ytr dna v'ie whit hsetis eicdedd kbca moer. Os fmor dna ptu sebcaeu nac ynol stghni cmuh uyo mceo it ti niot gdoo. Tsi' ogod. Ti's rlaeyl ogdo. Flia yuo i were ruth i this if meti be iekl tnca'. Throw lsef ont enses of hntagcait ti ot ym im'. Sghint ngeiv hvae now mylsfe esrt be if ilwl tone'sd ti odog igytnr taht aler kwor gte 'eserth nloy yellra by eocn ****** i out to ont eorm so i.
Wlli a mceo boj. Os aymn ot snhgit era do bale uoy. Ear taalbeapd os nad you lverce. Rsoceu oyu nfdi of lilw korw do to. Copsesr the adn as rttus erst edende. Oevl yuo i.
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