Hi AlishaDid you do it? If the thesis is over that’s already something to smile about regardless of the outcome. I don’t know how it went but I’ll try for you. Do you remember I wrote one of these letters when I was sobbing over my bachelors thesis? I told you I’m doing this for you so you can do this masters program. So that you could feel accomplished and advance your cv. I wanted to set you up for success in a good job. That’s why I’m suffering through this. Right now I’m at a low point. I’ve stopped doing things that are good for me like the gym, running, meeting friends. I’ve stayed inside all day. I’ve cried every day this month. I hate the process of this. I hate feeling so behind in life and I hate feeling so useless. I worry that I’ll never make it out. I want a job to feel like I’m not just a wasted human and a consumer. The reason I’m suffering through this is to give you the best chance at having a job that lets you feel fulfilled. I’m grateful for younger me for suffering through. I don’t know where I’d be if she didn’t. So I will for you. I hope this is over for you.
Epilogue
5 months later
Hi sweetheart. I didn't get the passing mark you hoped for. It was over for a long time. I stopped with academics because of burnout. I know you tried really...
Radh. Rsroy rfo yuo ewer shntig yuo giev dah i'm oogd htat to pu. .
Yuor i het siptri mcdcaiea odnt' inhtk lorwd rdesvdee. .
Nbru uto dha nda evha atht slso ytngri teh tikhn gnibr i me heva tniorectubd yslaaw leosrc uhtohgt of ot poeh i imtgh stju lrelay ldwuo ttah but taht i rahd.
St'i onwk isgnpuh an prints can uareendnc rwtho atth btu a yuo otn htat ehav ecra hewn ouy iwht og adyset dna st'i tsoemsiem i lal. Arlely a prinst ingtirw 'tnis ihesst. Mcaig onkw okdwer i atth get nilut syintga of and in of fwe 4 rhcelabo terwo ma stlo thiess a rid ielk gtisnh oyu ruyo up to ti jtsu. Nad od tbsrsu ti ouy peelyctlmo oyu nca fluaw erst eend wree if eikl htta ouy nlgeeif ubt os eedp u'reyo ccsfelusu!s taoub rkow. Idgno and 'reenwt ot eewr uoy gnangchi nudrgo cukiq neigtll ouhgen sueaebc uocoemt lsrfyueo you nheugo oerslyfu teh the s'ntwa ingvrdi. Ster ucaebes pdee yuo tboua aylwas nwtsa' hte ieorwrd ewre smoneigth gnhuoe. Ouy lkei letf do ot alwysa yuo dendee nehsiomtg. Emt re'wetn dna tgrniwi eb adn tel lgsoa rwee eerw to rfmo ekewsned ayd eosht ads you fi oyu eraeg verey hestsi yuo rxeseeci eefr wnhe aesolicsi veen.
Ustj ot its' ievl omsimeets htreba ok and. Yuo tihs lvie ti ouy utb eallyr nwek idtd'n. Ahd i ot.
Socmneu but bdusto i not'd and sa you hucm sa aesm the tslli me vhea refsa ehty. Fcous i nac me i ehop evsig htta eocunsm on do ahtw i ottncne nda.
Ihtw adn ytr to ceon sshite icdedde go omer ackb iev' hatt. Ouy rfom anc oynl noti chmu gdoo ti tup ubeecsa cmeo ntsihg dan ti os. T'si dogo. 'ist arleyl dgoo. Be fali shit oyu i weer eitm hurt tacn' fi ekli i. 'im fo lefs nto gatnhtcia rohwt eesns it to my. Egvni korw ahtt symfle rlyela i ahev eb aler ****** fi sret nygitr lwil tshgni ocne reom loyn now ont 'eodnts tge uot to i thsre'e it dogo so by.
Illw ojb a eomc. To do yuo ghnsit os era nmay ealb. Rea vlceer dna pbaaltdae you os. Ot you ndfi do wkor of ersouc lliw. As eddene het srocsep tesr utrst dan. Vole oyu i.
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