Hi AlishaDid you do it? If the thesis is over that’s already something to smile about regardless of the outcome. I don’t know how it went but I’ll try for you. Do you remember I wrote one of these letters when I was sobbing over my bachelors thesis? I told you I’m doing this for you so you can do this masters program. So that you could feel accomplished and advance your cv. I wanted to set you up for success in a good job. That’s why I’m suffering through this. Right now I’m at a low point. I’ve stopped doing things that are good for me like the gym, running, meeting friends. I’ve stayed inside all day. I’ve cried every day this month. I hate the process of this. I hate feeling so behind in life and I hate feeling so useless. I worry that I’ll never make it out. I want a job to feel like I’m not just a wasted human and a consumer. The reason I’m suffering through this is to give you the best chance at having a job that lets you feel fulfilled. I’m grateful for younger me for suffering through. I don’t know where I’d be if she didn’t. So I will for you. I hope this is over for you.
Epilogue
5 months later
Hi sweetheart. I didn't get the passing mark you hoped for. It was over for a long time. I stopped with academics because of burnout. I know you tried really...
Hrad. Oogd mi' rof ttha tinshg rsyor ewre yuo up had ouy to give. .
Rowld i tdno' ikhtn hte ryuo drvsedee tiiprs daeimcac. .
Hdra brun i gthhuot ttah ot epoh of uto me tihgm ujts sols dan laelyr hvae grnity ahd ttha wdolu vahe but i eth unbdtrteoic roscel i htta aasylw bnrig tikhn.
Uyo all trspni nda ydesta tbu hvae nwok nhwe 'its arce tno pushngi nac 'tis necnedaur hrwto i whit a taht og that iesmmetos na ouy. Lyalre thiess wtnrgii isnt' nritps a. Up atth agmic it fo ostl ewf dan sgyiatn yuo stuj ni i ot iteshs twero fo a am sgihtn kiel 4 lnuit raheolbc oekrwd rid get oruy wkon. It depe erew dna oue'ry uoy do mlleeptcoy uyo need wkro you srte !scsleufscu acn fnleeig fi utb ahtt uaotb lwauf so tbsrus iekl. Wsant' ruelyfso were ebucaes gohneu ouy neuhgo hte rntewe' tilngel fyuelosr teh and agcginnh to odnurg ouy oucmeot nidog ucikq dgvrini. Teoginhms riwerdo tas'nw ubtao wsalya secbaue eewr ghnoue yuo eth pede rtse. Do awlays tfel uyo you ghmsenito ikel endede ot. Be and ehtiss and fi efer dsa oyu even yuo toseh uyo reage reevy oeilscisa exceesir lsoga 'eewrtn kewdsnee from ayd eerw ot etm reew lte tgwnrii wenh.
To mstesmeio 'sti hterab dna ok vlei tusj. Htis you ti realyl oyu evli utb 'dndti kenw. Ot i dha.
As aesm ubt me sllti sa dotn' oyu nceoums botsdu ahev they muhc i farse teh nad. Nac segiv em i do cnmesou on i tath oucsf dan i ehpo ttocenn awht.
Dicdede rty mreo noce bkca og vi'e ot ttah dan ihwt hsiets. Mfor ti ogod put it asueecb os chum uoy tnio nad lnyo sthgni cna emco. Ogod is't. Si't good alrlye. I leki uoy if be 'catn ihts i weer item iafl uhtr. Ton of rhotw my to ti m'i ahtiantcg eessn eslf. To nwo i odgo eo'stnd evgni ryting otu tge okwr noec i if alyrle ttha os emor it isgnht lyon ****** ht'rese rale lsmyfe eb lilw rets not by evah.
Will mceo a job. Myna to os ouy od gihsnt bela ear. Ear revcle so oyu dabpeaatl dan. Wkro illw uyo recous ifdn ot od of. Srutt nda ssorpec ddneee stre eth sa. Vloe uoy i.
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