Hi AlishaDid you do it? If the thesis is over that’s already something to smile about regardless of the outcome. I don’t know how it went but I’ll try for you. Do you remember I wrote one of these letters when I was sobbing over my bachelors thesis? I told you I’m doing this for you so you can do this masters program. So that you could feel accomplished and advance your cv. I wanted to set you up for success in a good job. That’s why I’m suffering through this. Right now I’m at a low point. I’ve stopped doing things that are good for me like the gym, running, meeting friends. I’ve stayed inside all day. I’ve cried every day this month. I hate the process of this. I hate feeling so behind in life and I hate feeling so useless. I worry that I’ll never make it out. I want a job to feel like I’m not just a wasted human and a consumer. The reason I’m suffering through this is to give you the best chance at having a job that lets you feel fulfilled. I’m grateful for younger me for suffering through. I don’t know where I’d be if she didn’t. So I will for you. I hope this is over for you.
Epilogue
5 months later
Hi sweetheart. I didn't get the passing mark you hoped for. It was over for a long time. I stopped with academics because of burnout. I know you tried really...
Hrad. Up to for i'm tsghin rrsoy egvi oyu taht ouy dha were dogo. .
Oryu dcmaeiac het rowdl t'nod i veddeesr sirpit htkin. .
Himtg and em i kthin that i i yawsal fo aveh to ubertindcot adh btu ttha woudl tath grnib elyalr thhugto het tuo iyrngt slos drah haev brun socler juts ohpe.
Wthi is't igsnhpu mesmoeist cna lla a you ubt saetyd drenucean thta crea kown ttah og i ewnh ehva si't yuo dna itnpsr na thwor ont. Arllye rnitps stsehi igtwnir a 'tnis. Htta a teorw pu elki i 4 ohlbaerc sgntih owkn of dna ot ti hisest egt tosl few sujt redowk gimac fo ird oyu ngyatsi in nilut oyur am. Oe'yur peed ubt ouy dna lfgniee erwe ucfscsslu!e klei toleympcle os wkro oubta uyo rest uyo od that fi ndee trbssu ti lwfau nac. Rdinigv hgoenu weer nggcahin nad to the eht et'wnre rdugno kquic t'nswa uoy olsrefyu ogdin ellnitg oyu eohnug bescaeu sryfeuol tuemooc. Oabut you sylawa reidrow wa'nts nhugoe scauebe pdee gshoitnem rets het were. You od deeedn to lyawsa oyu tnmieshog iekl eltf. Sthise das ewer yad egera n'weetr etm vnee to yuo hoets gasol you dan nad hwne eeyvr etl xeierces free if uoy eewr niiwrtg be rofm nekdsewe iaeislsco.
'tsi ok etrbah and elvi mimoetses ujts ot. Tbu oyu uyo lryale ti 'tidnd knwe hist viel. Adh i to.
Btu htey the veah outsbd tlsli seoncum as uhcm i fraes em oyu aesm as nda ndo't. Csmenuo thta gsvei i i wtah od em i no ntcoetn ucosf hoep dan anc.
Yrt atht ethiss ddeidec adn oemr to evi' og oecn akcb thiw. Rofm it odgo eocm nca ptu dan nghtsi buseeac so uyo niot it hmuc noyl. Odgo ts'i. Eralyl doog is't. Stih wree itme i eb fail uoy klie i tuhr fi n'tca. Fles ym ttnighcaa of otwhr to nto nsees it 'mi. Efmlys i sret by ti ****** out tath thsign lryael i evha ton dgoo rale now ilwl work so givne tnsoed' if ets'hre gte eonc eb erom to nygtir loyn.
Ojb meoc a wlil. Ear os uoy itngsh mnay od elba ot. So ouy erelvc are and eapdbtaal. To do ouy wkor iwll scoeur of find. As het scrsope ddeeen nda erts ttsru. Yuo i voel.
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