A letter from Jul 24, 2025

Dear FutureMe, I think the past letters I've written have been wishing my future self well. But **** I want with my current self well chile. I'm fighting tears as I write this because I am going through it mentally. My fiannces are all over the place, I'm fighting with who I want to be versus who my past made me. It's hard, it's not easy work. This is something I feel is important for my future. Me right now, finding balance and being disciplined while soft. It's something I'm still wrapping my head around. I hope I can find this balance between my prtective self and my connected self. I don;t want to live in shame and regret. I want to be free. It's challenging feeling alone. I'm mourning the idea of my parents in my life. My friends, my boyfriend, wished me a happy birthday as soon as they woke up. My parents? yeah. This hurts me because I feel I'm always giving them a 110%. Now, I'm facing the reality that they don't see me that way. It's freeing I guess, but it's painful. I'm sitting in the pain of realisation. The daughter I am is not the daughter they deserve. This 110% is something I need to give myself. Not them. So I Know that by the time I read this, so much would have changed. So much would be different. I jsut hope I'm still giving 110% to myself and giving 10% to others. Maybe even 5%.