A letter from Jul 22, 2025

Hi Jillian! It's Jillian! Today is July 22nd, 2024 and I spent the morning trying to get some **** in order (paying for grad school online, renting an u-haul, planning a going away party etc etc) and now I have a few hours before I go to Camden with Virginia and Kiko to see Kendall in the Shakespeare Festival. You (I) have had a really incredible year in Waterville (and other locations). I truly love my life so much right now, which is making the prospect of packing up everything and moving to Boston so difficult. To refresh your memory, I left my job on June 4th and then after a week I did my first artist residency at Hewn Oaks, went to Jason's wedding, spent a week-ish at home, before 6 days in Iceland with Lisa (which was lovely besides having my flight canceled on the way back), and now I am half way through my last month at 17 Veteran Court where I am hanging out with friends and my girlfriend! Leaving my job was actually so much easier than I thought! I still love living in Maine, even when I am not working at Colby! I still feel connected to what actually kinda feels like a calling (museum education... connecting others to art.... something like that) and I am less stressed, but my days somehow feel equally full! I know the next month or two will be pretty hard (I don't do well with the lack of structure, moving is annoying, trying out a long distance relationship, etc), but I am already proud of myself and confident that I will get something out of the hard times and that pretty soon the dust will settle. Here are some hopes, concerns, questions: -I hope you really enjoy where you are living and like living with Amy! I hope you make new friends and reconnect with old tufts friends. I hope you get a lot out of the grad program, internships, and various extracurriculars. I hope the disappointments are small and still teach you something (like how to interact with annoying pretentious people). I hope you learn more about yourself and your wants. I hope you navigate your connection to maine from mass. I hope you stay in touch with many many Maine ppl and give yourself grace when some connections drift for now. I hope you love your life remotely closely to how much I love mine now. -I am concerned about how anxious I/you get. I hope (see above) that it is something you learn new ways to manage. I am concerned (but trying to stay mainly intrigued) about how dating Kate long distance will work out. You guys love each other and while that is not enough always to stay together, it is enough to treat a hard n complex situation with love and care for yourself and her. I am concerned that the masters will feel like a waste of time. I am concerned I won't find a job after. Or that I will decide that I need to be back in Maine and cannot find a good job for me. The unknown is concerning! But I feel like I have also grown to learn that maybe in a year when I read this, that none of the above were actually things to be concerned about, but there are three other big concerns that are not even remotely on my radar right now. -Where are you living now? What are you doing? What do you love now that I don't even know about yet? Who do I love now (new friends, Eva?, feels crazy to even write!!) that I don't even know yet? What did you get out of the masters program? What are your favorite parts of Somerville? How has your relationship to Maine grown and shifted? Who have you stayed in touch with? Are you still dating Kate? What did you learn from a long distance relationship? What are you most proud of yourself for doing? Are you still going to quaker meetings? Does attention still interest you or do you have a new buzzword obsession? A few days ago that woman (I think her name is Marylynn or something?... the one with the braid who used to work at the Colby Library) shared at the quaker meeting (I brought Kate for her second time) that when you get older/reach the end of your life, you likely won't be saying I wish I was more like X or did more Y, really what you should focus on is how can you be the most you in all of your life as you live in your life. That you will change, but be honest to that you is what you have to give to the world. A little cheesy, but it also hit me. I also don't know if I totally believe it. Or if I believe it for all people. Think more about this, Jillian! Also go get an ice cream, call a friend you haven't talked to in a while, do something you have been putting off, be proud of yourself (I hope!). Love, Jillian