A letter from July 17th, 2025

Dear FutureMe, spent three hours (almost) applying for jobs. It’s so defeating and depressing. With no real career the pay isn’t even enough to cover our rent. I’m scared we’re going to end up homeless for real. If I didn’t have Jo to worry about I’d deal with being homeless somehow but although Jo is technically an adult they are neurodivergent and things are different for them. I see no answers in sight. you're fifty two years old and have no income, no job prospects, you're renting your house for far more than most people can afford. life is bleak and really scary. suicide has started to creep back into my brain. disappointed that no one cleaned up after me being gone for literally a month. the bathrooms are disgusting, the sink is full of dishes, the cat box hadn't been changed in I'm guessing two weeks. Randy has completely given up on life and is utterly defeated and I have no idea how to help him through this. the last time it got like this was right before he left Spi. I'm scared for Jo, I'm scared for him, I'm scared for riles (who happens to be the most adult amung us. which spirals me down that she had to grow up so fast because randy and I are such **** how. I wouldn't change it but we probably shouldn't have had kids. we're terrible parents and people.