A letter from Jul 17, 2025

this is a letter for future zia. i hope that future me is doing better than present me. because right now life is not being very kind. and i know that i have it better than a lot of people, but i also have it a lot worse than some. im scared all the time. scared of what you ask? well mom, for starters. i love her too much. i am so scared that i am going to disappoint her, even though she says that i could never in a million years. im also scared that i am not going to be remembered. in this life, when its my time to leave, i want to be remembered. i want my name to be on peoples lips on my birthday and when i am in a new movie, or sing a new original, or write a new novel. its so hard trying to get mom to do anything. she just thinks that everything is a joke. “mom i want to act in the new sunrise on the reaping movie. louella isn’t cast yet and she’s thirteen too.” and she smiles and tries to hold a laugh and then goes back to scrolling instagram which she swore that she quit. i mean, if you’re gonna lie then you have to at least go through with it. im not two anymore. i dont believe everything she says anymore. like when i asked to go to a benson boone concert, she told me it was sold out. however, THE OFFICIAL WEBSITE SAYS IT ISNT! JESUS CRAP WOMAN. truthfully, i love her. i guess that everyone has their things. like im crazy scared of needles, crowds, small spaces, and people. and crazy introverted. but it would still be great to be remembered. for anything. just not going to jail. if you aren’t doing anything great yet, just remember: there’s always tomorrow. the worst thing that can happen is that you fail, and you try again. have fun in the extraordinary life of me :)