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Dear FutureMe,
I don’t know exactly who you are yet.
And honestly, I’m scared to even write this—because it feels like I’m making a promise I might not keep.
But here I am, writing anyway.
I hope you're doing well. I hope things are gentle. I hope you're healthy.
I hope you’re still loving yourself like you used to—if not more.
I hope you’re listening to music and doing what you love.
I’m doing okay too, if you're wondering.
I love being me. I love the person I am. It’s beautiful.
There’s nothing in this world I love more than loving myself.
There’s nothing in this world I love more than being who I am.
Right now, I’m someone who’s trying to figure things out—trying to live life to the fullest.
But honestly, I don’t even know what “living life to the fullest” means.
Does it mean doing what you love? Or getting good grades, a decent job, lots of money, and a degree?
Because even if I achieve those things, I feel like I’ll still crave what I truly love.
And as much as I love money—it’s not everything I love.
Okay… well, to be fair, money can buy me books and little things that help me live the life I want.
So in a way, yes, I love money too. But we’re getting off track here—so yeah.
Right now, I’m struggling.
With good grades. With studying. With discipline. With being consistent.
I hope that part gets easier for you. I really do.
I hope anxiety and stress have softened. I hope the pressure has loosened its grip.
And even though I’m overwhelmed, some small things are bringing me joy lately:
My Nivea Blackberry lip balm.
The short kurtis I’ve been wearing.
My hair in a bun with a claw clip—it looks gorgeous.
My wired headphones—they’re my special baby.
My edits, even if I feel like I’m not doing a great job.
I hope you’re still editing. I hope you’re better at it than me. And I hope you still love it.
I’m scared.
Scared of failing. Of not reaching my goals. Of disappointing my family.
Scared of this year—because my 12th board marks feel like they’ll decide my whole life.
I’m scared I’ll fail. That I won’t pass. And yet, somehow, I can’t seem to change.
I don’t know why. But I hope you figured that out. I hope you became the disciplined, consistent person I’ve been trying to be.
And I’m scared of another thing too:
What if I don’t get to study what I love?
What if I’m forced to settle for something safe, just because they don’t want me to go far away?
What if I’m stuck doing something I don’t want, just to please others?
So here’s what I want for you:
Please—do the job you love.
Live the life you chose for yourself.
Pick your dream job based on passion. Yes, it should pay well—but it should also make you feel alive.
Choose what you love, not just what pays the most, or what the family approves of.
And don’t forget why you’re doing all of this.
You want freedom.
You want to be yourself, fully.
You want to live happily—with yourself.
Love? If you’ve found someone, I’m happy for you. But if you haven’t, that’s okay too.
A boyfriend isn’t important. Love is important, yes—but that kind of love? It’s something that comes along the way.
You don’t chase it. You attract it.
I hope you remember that. I really do.
And I hope, no matter how scary it is, that you chase your dreams.
Even if it means moving somewhere far.
Even if it means being alone.
Because being alone isn’t always sad. It can be beautiful.
You’ll have space to grow. You’ll become brave, independent, strong.
And if you can beat that, no one can beat you.
So please.
If the path scares you but leads to your dream life, take it.
Run toward it. You can do it.
I love you. So, so much.
And I’m proud of you.
I hope you know that.
And if you don’t, you do now.
With all my heart,
The one you were before.
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