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Dear FutureMe,If you’re reading this, I hope you’ve found some peace. Or maybe not. Maybe you’re still carrying it quietly, silently, like always. Remember this version of you? Me. The one who spent months trying to move on from someone. Not just trying but fighting. Giving everything just to let go, to feel nothing, to act like it never mattered. And maybe you even believed it. You told yourself it wasn’t that deep. That they didn’t care but you don’t either. You started to gaslight yourself into healing, convincing yourself it was nothing, that you made it all up in your head. But one day, A message. A memory. A photo. That one thing tied to them dragged you right back. Not just to the beginning of healing but to before all of it. To the version of you that still believed they meant it. That maybe they did care. And the worst part? It didn’t even take much. Just a word. Not even a warm one. Just something that felt close because it came from them. It was more than enough to make you go back into that loop and no one knew. People always said “You’re so emotional, so thoughtful, so mature,” like it’s a gift but they don’t know. They don’t know what it’s like to love with your whole heart. To replay conversations in your head at 2 AM wondering: Did I sound cold? Did I mess it up? Did they take it the wrong way? That’s the weight of it. Loving this deeply is not that beautiful. It’s not poetic. It’s a kind of pain that doesn’t scream. It just sits there. So future me if you’ve finally let go, I’m SO proud of you. If you haven’t that’s okay too. Just promise me to not forget that what you felt was real. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel stupid for feeling it. And never ever apologize for loving deeply. Even when it hurts.
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