A letter from Jul 08, 2025

Dear the amazing July 2026 version of Savvy, I am 32 days sober today. This is officially the longest I've ever gone in one stretch of time without alcohol since I picked it up in 2021. I am so incredibly proud of myself for finally having the courage to embark on this journey, a journey I knew was inevitable for a very long time. I am currently feeling lonely, sad, a bit lost, overwhelmed. Knowing there's still all these big questions for the future, how my life will look like in sobriety, what kind of person I will become, how I spend my time. My life has opened up, and now what? What do I do with that? Right now I'm just here, in the TLC community, trying to just be present and allow myself this space to be sad, to not know the answers. Knowing they will come with time, as long as I create the space. And SIT in the space, feel the discomfort. I do not need to THINK, I just need to be, listen to myself, and everything will unfold. Wheel of life: Personal Growth: 10 Right now, I am spending most of my time working on myself on this journey. I am extremely tender right now, and I have time to be gentle to myself, to take care. And thats what Im doing. Im hoping to create routines and rituals that are able to stay with me once my life gets more busy, with work, and hopefully community. If in the next year, my growth becomes stagnant, I want that to be okay, because growth cannot be exponential, we need time to relish in what we have created. I hope by now, July 2026, I have gotten to a point where I can just accept where I am, and be satisfied with the work that I have put in. I can imagine there's going to be a LOT of growth within this next sober year. Physical Environment: 9 I love our new house, I love our new city, being in Maine, how quiet everything is, the small town vibe and the community here. Our house is really starting to come together, especially the living room and the guest room. Its been a bit difficult to decorate because we don't have a lot of money right now. But I bet in July 2026 our house will look DOPE. We will have our room a nice and beautiful cozy space to do yoga, decompress, or get work done at the home office area. I just want to create little nooks to escape to in order to feel peace. This will come with time, but being sober now I am seeing the importance of creating this type of space for myself, for us. A physical environment that feels cozy and safe and like your own is so important to keep yourself calm and at ease, looking forward to that rest time at the end of the day, creating that peace for yourself. Career: 8 I am very excited about my career prospects now that I am just about done with my masters. I am hoping to work from home, and am looking forward to be working in a different field, one that I can feel like Im contributing in ways I had always hoped, and a career that will give me the freedom to travel, have flexibility in my schedule. By now, you have been working for (hopefully) almost a year, and I hope its everything I imagine it can be. If not thats okay too. I am afraid of the job prospects here - i've only been looking for about a week, but its been all rejections so far. Something will pop up, I just know it. I think I am going to start doing manifestation meditations in order to help my spirit. Family/Friends: 5 I know I have people that are there for me. I have been facetiming Heidie and Cassie, and trying to stay in touch. I talk to my mom pretty frequently. But its hard being away from my girls, having them there to keep me company in these lonely times. I really hope by July 2026 I have made some friends out here. I just haven't felt like trying right now, its hard to imagine joining groups and things because I've just been reclusive in early sobriety, protecting myself in this little safe bubble. But that will pass, I just need to let it happen with time, and it will. My goal is to still be in touch with my important people, and to visit or have them visit me whenever possible. Significant Other: 10 God this one is so easy. Kelly is the most supportive, empathetic, sweet, encouraging partner I could have ever asked for. I am getting emotional even typing that, because I love her just so so so much. I was concerned about how my sobriety would affect our relationship. This is still something we are trying to navigate, because she is still having a drink here and there, and I do not know how to handle that right now. I think that will also come with time, once I gain more confidence in my sobriety. I do worry about how our schedules will affect our relationship. Her working so much, me being home a lot more than her, her working a few weeks of nights at a time, her being so exhausted after a 6 day week and not having as much time or energy for each other. This is not something we have encountered before in our relationship. But we have had excellent communication about it, and plan to throughout these upcoming months. We have talked about being more intentional about our time spent, doing activities that suit us both, especially if she's going to be tired a lot. More date nights, walks together, intimate time, even if that's just looking into each others eyes while beautiful music is playing. I know we are strong, and we've got this. Fun and Recreation: 4 I have no idea how to spend my time sober. All my hobbies aren't necessarily 'fun', they're enjoyable, but I do crave that laughter, easy going joy, the things that drinking seemed to have given me. This is an opportunity to try new things. Go see live music, join a sports team, find an activity that is just pure bliss and joy, something you look forward to. Something that isn't all about personal growth, that doesn't have to do with mediating or reflecting or whatever. This may take me a while, but I hope by July 2026 you have at least TRIED somethings throughout the year. Do something new, something scary. Something pointless, just for the joy of it. Not everything has to be productive. Health: 9 I am feeling SO much better than I was a month ago. Its astounding. I can breathe so much better, I've been hitting the gym, and I feel so much stronger, much more capable. We hiked in NY this past weekend, and it felt GOOD finally for the first time in a long time. I am feeling more peace in my daily life, however this is going to be a long journey to find stronger, more lasting peace, so I hope I am at least feeling more of that by July 2026. My fitness and health journey are integrally linked to this sobriety journey, so I hope I am stronger than even in 1 years time. Yes, of course I hope I'm a bit thinner too, but most importantly I just want to feel comfortable and happy in my body, no matter where it is. I have already gotten so much better with that, and I am so proud of my progress. Money: 4 Yes, I am broke lol. Have been for a while, but that's okay. It will come with time. Kelly is making money, and when we have duel incomes we will finally be able to save. This time next year, there is no question about it, we will have more more money, and my credit cards will be paid off. I will have started making payments on my student debt, and I hope to have my brakes done and rocker panel replaced on my car. In the first year, all the essentials. However, despite low funds now, I am extremely proud of myself for finally trying to be better about my spending, not buying in excess, we haven't been getting carry out or going out much at all, making lots of low cost food at home. It feels like I'm finally living my truth, being honest with where I'm at. For a long time I wasn't checking my bank account or credit cards, now I am paying attention. Sobriety has helped me so much so far just to be honest with myself in so many aspects of my life. It will take time, but I feel as if I'm finally in the drivers seat of my own life, finally taking control. No matter where you are Savvy, I am so so proud of you, and I will always love you. Even if you slip, even if you do none of the things above. The next year, all I have to do it put a sober head on the pillow every night, and I will become the beautiful woman that is you. No matter what that looks like.