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Dear FutureMe,
Maybe you still think about her when something funny happens or when your day is not the best and you want to tell someone who gets it. Maybe that someone is still her or maybe she’s long gone and that’s exactly why you needed to read this. I’m writing to you from the thick of it. I’m the version of you that still hasn’t said it out loud. The one pretending everything’s cool like things went back to normal but deep down I know what changed. And so do you. Remember the shift with her and how she pulled away without warning like flipping a switch. One day she was there fully there and the next gone. I wasn’t mad about the silence not really. I was stunned by what it meant. By how fast something that once felt so solid could just shift and ever since that moment something in me stopped trusting the ground I stood on. Let me ask you something and I want you to answer it honestly. Is that one girl who you talked to everyday still in your life? And if she is do you feel safe with her now the way you used to? Or are you still walking on eggshells? Still second guessing whether it’s okay to laugh too loud or text too much or say something weird in case she gets distant again? Because that’s what this is really about. With me right now she was distant for three days and it’s not just about three days of silence. It’s about how those three days cracked something inside me. I started watching her with different eyes. I’m not saying she’s a bad person. But here’s what I need you to remember even years from now. You deserve friendships where you don’t have to wonder. Where your presence is not a question mark. Where being “too much” or “not enough” never even enters the conversation. Where one moment of tension doesn’t erase months of love. So tell me future me Is she still your person. Do you still talk daily . And if she isn’t there anymore did you find people who never made you doubt the bond for a second. Because that’s what I want for you. I want you to laugh without thinking. Talk without calculating. If she stayed and I hope she proved me wrong in the best way. I hope she showed up again fully and truly. And if she didn’t well… I hope you showed up for yourself instead. I hope you let this experience teach you that it’s not dramatic to feel what you feel. That silence can speak louder than words. And that your peace matters more than history. You’re allowed to miss her if she isn’t there anymore but you’re not allowed to lie to yourself.
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