A letter from June 28th, 2025

I don't know how I thought of this, or even how I said it... I even prayed... Oh God, forgive me. I prayed that my heart would stop and that's it. All of this... and the exhaustion, the staying up late, and the sleeplessness... my eyes are ruined, my ears are ruined, and still... still... I'm falling short, or I don't have time... I don't have time to study.Time is running out, I know it's forbidden to pray for harm against myself..and if it really happens...may God forgive me and consider me a martyr and not a suicide.I'm done.I'm tired.Sorry, Dad.Sorry, Mom.I'm not as smart as you thought. I am a failure and I don't deserve anything.And may God forgive me for everything.
-If I really died and you, not me, are reading my private messages right now... I hope you'll shut up and pray for me-,Okay... you. If it's just me later, tell me what.Are you happy? Because I'm not happy at all now, I've been crying for an hour.
that's it.