Press ← and → on your keyboard to move between
letters
hey future benni! i honestly feel too lazy to get up and journal right now but i really feel like i should soooo i'm just sending myself a letter :p anywho HIIIIII!!! so much has changed about life recently, i've gone through so many internal and spiritual transformation over the past year and especially this past half year and its been quite exausting but i can finally say i feel much more secure and trusting in myself and my future. im a little frustrated i havent been able to do the things i wanted to do as soon as i wanted to but im more glad that i even get to do them at all :) im just getting started with finding a backup band for myself right now so everything is in the begging before the beginning. i think its important for me to take this time and really acknowledge how far i came and how much i wished to even get to the starting point, because this feels like im truly at my first real turning point. i never wouldve gotten here if it wasnt for some incredibly difficult choices i had to make. i lost a bunch of friends and left high school early while dealing with an onslaught of mental problems and issues at home, then i moved out abruptly after having an argument with dad and having to face that either i leave now or i never do, then i moved to new york with grandma and grandpa for awhile and came back home cus i had no other choice. all of that is just recent history and there was a lot of ache and turmoil between it all, but throughout everything- i chose you. i always chose my future self, the hope and faith i had for me figuring it out. i always held my future self on a pedestal never realizing i was taking every step as a wish fulfilled. for the longest time my wishes consisted of just being happy because i couldn’t believe that i could have something as great as my dreams. i was afraid to dream because it hurt to imagine what i thought i could never have, and technically i haven’t “started” (put out any music) but it feels like I’m on the precipice of something great. i feel boundless and ready to dream without fear, and rather than running on hope and faith for a better future for myself, i now have great expectations for myself. i am 19, almost 20. those are words i never thought i would say, and the fact that i made it past 18 is something i cant wrap my mind around. this is making me emotional while i write so its giving me a headache but i already have a cold so this is hell 💔💔 how lucky am i though for this to be my version of hell? emotional because i made it further than i expected to, and i now expect myself to go much, MUCH further? i have massive dreams for myself, and i will do everything to make it come true for you. as i am constantly working for my future self, i also look back to work for my past self, and i know i’m reading this letter right now as my past, present, and future; rooting for all versions of me. i could never fathom having this much love for myself even a year ago, and had no idea such a thing was possible. i hated myself in elementary, middle, and highschool so it feels pretty good to like myself sp much more now; and though i have a lot more healing to do, it doesn’t feel as tumultuous anymore :D i truly feel like i can handle anything (knock on wood)
anywho, i hope i’ve made some serious steps forward in my music! as of right now, I: 1.) have a bassist 2.) kind of have a guitarist 3.) I’m writing a lot better music than ever before 4.) I’m teaching myself various music things right now to reach my goals 5.) literally never finished a good song before in my life but im working on it 6.) my singing is great even though im sick
okay bye after reading this please reflect on yourself and your habits and how you’ve grown and i hope you really understand the importance of self reflection bc its still something i struggle with like check ur snapchat memories or wtv and also i trust ur on top of **** so this is me patting u on the back and reminding u that you are truly that ***** and can get through ANYTHING. i dont know whats happening for you right now but please remember that if its scary, its just a leap of faith. you can do it, youre on your way. do it for me! do it for you! DO IT FOR MICHAEL!! goodnight and goodbye and youre awesome and if it seems like no one has any faith in you I DO!! if you trust anyone it should be me anyway.. im awesome. YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!
Sign in to FutureMe
or use your email address
Create an account
or use your email address
FutureMe uses cookies, read how
Share this FutureMe letter
Copy the link to your clipboard:
Or share directly via social media:
Why is this inappropriate?