A letter from Jun 25, 2025

Dear FutureMe, I don't know how you'll be feeling when you receive this email, but lets have a little recap of the right-here-and-now. The 3 month contract with BO ends next week; it's been a personal rollercoaster and refreshing professionally. Hearing my manager say that they'll miss me when I'm not there anymore, is a world away from the attitude of my previous manager when I left after nearly a decade. It went some way to healing a small part of me which wondered if I really was the problem. Being shown basic gratitude for work done well, is something I've shared with pride to friends, who point out that's how it should've been all along, and I just didn't know it. I'm not sure what I want after this, work wise. Travel wise... I'm slowly building up a picture. In my mind, there's a sudden dead-end in December, where this experience stops and I have to 'stop day-dreaming and get back to real life' (I am unclear in exactly where this voice comes from, but it is naggy and slightly intimidating) 'Having stuff' is also creeping into this, I notice. Thoughts such as 'how do I sell the van, and when?' before I've even hit the road properly. There's nothing like being prepared... but perhaps I can enjoy it a little first eh? What I want for us, is to *long pause whilst I work this out* hike and scramble as much as I want treat time as an abundance; don't ration it so heavily in some stupid goal to do everything we 'must' instead of indulging in what we want. No more of this 'oh but I must leave now, even though that looks good, because I said I would' - we can change plans. I hope that's what happened, but if it isn't... I'm sure there's a good reason. It doesn't have to end.