A letter from Jun 23, 2025

Dear Future Me, Hello buddy, I'm sorry for the pain that you felt. I'm sorry to keep trying to be loved, to impress the other people and for the failure and broken right now. I know your strong buddy, even the people said to you that your impulsive, needy, demanding, immature, undecisive, unstable and stupid. They make you feel useless, option and convenient to them' that's why they use you. Your weak and don't know how to explain yourself, that's why they do not understand your point and reason always. If you read this, your stable now, strong, not impulsive not needy. I will become stronger for myself to avoid the people the use me or abuse for their words. I was hurt to the smallest word, foul words. I keep asking myself. why like that? Well, that's me, that I need to improve because not all the people like me, the world now is very different, so painful, so full of user and plastic. We don't know use real because they also experience the pain of the real world. But why you not giving a change to the real people that have good intension to you. That the sh*t bro, it's so difficult to being nice person nowadays. I'm not preferred for this kind of world. But this is the final test, I need to face this reality even its super hard for me. By the way, I hope this time you and I is healing, and you forgive me what I've done and hopefully you realize you're mistaken also. I'm strong and stable now, I hope you are free now from the wrong person that you choose. I hope also you have permanent job, saving, and peaceful mind. So that you remember me and look for me, because you said that if you are stable, you're looking for me and have goodtime. I hope someday we meet to our favorite place and have tequila, chilling at the back of the car, laugh and enjoy the moment we share. I'm really sorry for the words that I said to you... I need to do that because I need save myself for drowning to fall for you. Because I know you're not totally healing, but I'm trying to fight for us, but you make me feel I've lost. :'( It's very hard to let go now, every day I'm crying every single day if I remember you. But what I'm going to do? I just need to accept that you choose him over me. And that is ********. That person is giving you trauma, I see that night your super scared and cry because of him. I saved you that night, but you choose him over me, that's ******* me right now. And I hope your totally free for that ******* *******. LEAVE THAT PERSON! OKAY? You're not deserve that one. I hope we become successful soon. having a brand-new car and new house. I don't know if I'm alive before I read this. But I hope we see each other again. Wait for me, I'm just fixing myself, to be strong like you. Take care of yourself, I will comeback your buddy, AKII