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Dear FutureMe,
Idk why but I feel empty rn. Pakiram*** ko I'm just doing this to because I need to, hindi dahil gusto ko. Today, I went out para samahan sister ko magpalashes. I don't want to but libre niya naman so sige. He texted me kung san nako and I said pauwi nako, tapos he was asking me to buy something. I said wala kahit na may nabili naman talaga ako. I feel so beautiful kasi first time ko to, I was hoping he would notice it. I even told my sister not to tell him na nagpagawa kami. Afterwards I went to the room and asked him to come out and eat then he suddenly asked me to pay my debts(from our trip and expenses for clothes). He even said that, now I get to go out coz I got my salary and can't even pay back, without even knowing that I didn't spend any money at all kasi nga libre ng sister ko HAHAHA funny how everything now is calculated. I got scammed for over a month now kaya hindi ako nakapag ambag sa trip namin. Yeah I know he's stressed bc of the bills that are coming pero whatevs. Idk what to feel rn. I feel like I'm slowly moving forward even though it's painful, I'm slowly accepting things to be this way. He didn't even notice that something changed in me. Lol, I won't tell him. I don't wanna look like someone who begs for attention just so I could get noticed. I'd rather want other people noticing it instead of him. He never did appreciate every little small detail in me, maybe yes but that was when we were still new in this relationship. I hope this feeling will soon fade away. I don't wanna feel this for long.
Idk why but I feel empty rn. Pakiram*** ko I'm just doing this to because I need to, hindi dahil gusto ko. Today, I went out para samahan sister ko magpalashes. I don't want to but libre niya naman so sige. He texted me kung san nako and I said pauwi nako, tapos he was asking me to buy something. I said wala kahit na may nabili naman talaga ako. I feel so beautiful kasi first time ko to, I was hoping he would notice it. I even told my sister not to tell him na nagpagawa kami. Afterwards I went to the room and asked him to come out and eat then he suddenly asked me to pay my debts(from our trip and expenses for clothes). He even said that, now I get to go out coz I got my salary and can't even pay back, without even knowing that I didn't spend any money at all kasi nga libre ng sister ko HAHAHA funny how everything now is calculated. I got scammed for over a month now kaya hindi ako nakapag ambag sa trip namin. Yeah I know he's stressed bc of the bills that are coming pero whatevs. Idk what to feel rn. I feel like I'm slowly moving forward even though it's painful, I'm slowly accepting things to be this way. He didn't even notice that something changed in me. Lol, I won't tell him. I don't wanna look like someone who begs for attention just so I could get noticed. I'd rather want other people noticing it instead of him. He never did appreciate every little small detail in me, maybe yes but that was when we were still new in this relationship. I hope this feeling will soon fade away. I don't wanna feel this for long.
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