A letter from Jun 13, 2025

pat,,,, 17 ka na ginagawa mo pa rin to gerl get a life. by the time u read this, youre turning 18 in a few weeks. do you feel afraid? anxious? i feel like u do. naka on repeat ba sau yung never grow up? kasi ako rin ngayon eh. aaaaaaa it feels weird still writing letters on this site. honestly, im feeling really scared, i cant believe im turning 17 in a few weeks, and in a bad way pa. 17 pre pota, usually by 17 naka plan out na buhay ng iba eh. do u remember nung 13-15 ka, u already had your whole life planned, the course, the school and everything? ang scary lang na ni isa sa mga plano ko noon, walang nag stay. though i am studying in my dream school ngayon, i wouldn't say i'm happy about it. i honestly want to be 14 again, and have insanely unrealistic dreams. she wanted to be a veterinarian, work abroad, slowly achieving all of her goals, whereas 17 year old me doesnt even know what she'll study for college. ngayon, sa totoo lang, ginagaya ko na lang mga pangarap ni ate. pero im thinking of maybe giving dvm a chance? what do you think? i mean helping those who can't speak for themselves has always been my advocacy. AYYY graduate ka na by this time 'no? shettt magcocollege ka na preee KINAKABAHAN AKO PARA SA'YO TE. pero alam mo, i hope na binabasa mo to rn, tapos nasa utak mo na tangina parang tanga to oh, na naging okay lang lahat, na kinakabahan lang ako para sa wala. sa totoo lang kahit ano naman kunin mong course, magiging proud ako as long as pinili mo yan dahil gusto mo, dahil diyan ka sasaya. for now, kahit minumura mo aq sa utak mo kasi wtf ang paranoia ko, sana proud ka rin sa'kin. na pag binabalikan mo yung past self mo, sana naiisip mo na ayyy, hindi naman pala siya ganoon kagago,, pero maiintindihan ko rin naman if badtrip ka sa'kin, siguraduhin m lang na nagbago ka na bago ka mabadtrip gago k. ano pa baaaa,, AY !!! eto anuuu, may love life ka na baaaaaa. jusko awa na lang !!! matuto ka namang lumandi. oh welllll. idk what to say na. so i'm ending this with a few things that kept me hopeful of life and kaunting mga bilin from 16 u. pat, remember, as long as hindi mo nakakalimutan si 13 year old or kahit anong age of pat, her plans, and things about her, hindi siya mawawala sa'yo, which means that she's still you, and youre still her. gets mo ba. basta lagi mong tandaan na hindi ako mawawala sa'yo as long as kakapitan mo 'ko. always try to find a reason to get up and laugh everyday, no matter how much it hurts, kasi ako i'm secretly rooting for you bading ... always choose to be kind, lalo na sa sarili mo. remember to choose yourself always, pero at the same time it doesn't hurt to ask the people you love how they are. walang mali sa pagpapakita ng pagmamahal sa mga taong mahal mo. i know how much growing up takes a toll on you, grieving how you were, missing how bright your light was back then. pero ik na it didn't light out, natakpan lang siguro ng kaunti. i hope ngayon, you reignited that fire, pero if you haven't yet, it isn't too late to make that dim light a whole *** fire !!! yep i said that wrong and idc. don't lose your interest for the things you love. WATCH OF:DO and lahat ng mga gmmtv shows na lumabas if you havent. going back, don't let anybody tell you what not to like !! unless kadiri yang hinahyperfixatean mo then yes, listen to ricz. yun din, when i said check on the people you love, kamustahin mo lagi ate mo. she got you through tough times. alam mo yan. wag mo siya awayin, unless kasalanan niya naman talaga. lagi mo siyang intindihin. hindi mo ikamamatay yung pagpapakita ng concern. i know you love her so, and it won't hurt to let her know that. yung mga kaibigan mo, choose them wisely, open up to them. sana reading this you'll have some friends in mind na you appreciate dearly. have faith and perseverance in everything you do. if youre thinking about your past, listen to magpatuloy by mijon like you always do, manatili kang marilag. magpatuloy ka. kung iniisip mo naman yung future, listen to vienna by billy joel. always choose love, above all else. proud na proud ako sa'yo kahit maging ano ka pa, dahil alam kong kung 'mali' ang landas na pinasok mo, may rason yan. alam kong kakayanin mo. yun lang. okei bye bading, pls lang lumandi ka na awang awa na ako sa sarili ko rayt neow