A letter from Jun 04, 2025

Dear FutureMe, Hey, you. I hope you’re in a softer place now. I hope things make more sense than they do today. But just in case they don’t — or in case you ever forget — I want you to remember this moment. Right now, I’m sitting with feelings that contradict each other. I used to really like someone who wasn’t available. There was comfort in that, oddly enough. It felt safe, like there was a limit to how far I could fall. I could feel something, but not have to risk something. And now that he’s free — now that he could actually choose me — I’m realizing I don’t want him the same way anymore. I want his attention, sure. I want to feel like I matter. But do I really want him? Or did I just want to be the exception? It’s messy. I don’t like how it makes me feel. Sometimes I want to judge myself or say I’m too much or not enough. But I’m choosing not to. I’m writing to you now, future me, because I hope you’ve learned how to love without needing to shrink or overthink. I hope you know that your worth was never tied to someone else’s attention — especially not someone who was never truly present for you in the way you deserve. I hope you’re proud of how far you’ve come. I hope you’re gentle with the parts of you that once confused desire with safety, and love with longing. I hope you’ve forgiven yourself for not knowing better until you did. And I hope that if you’re ever faced with something similar again, you’ll remember this truth: You are not hard to love. You are not broken. And you never needed to compete for someone who saw your light clearly. Keep growing. Keep choosing yourself. I’m rooting for you — always. With love, Me (the one still figuring it out, but trying)