A letter from May 28, 2025

What have you accomplished? Continued your goal of striving for that dream university? I didn't do great on a test I took today. It feels like **** considering I put so much work into studying for it. I'm at a point where my worth feels completely based on my academics, considering I can't do anything else in this country. This path just doesn't feel right for me. It's all I have. I need to be better. Do you still think a path in medicine would be worth it even when you crave to do something else? This thought constantly plagues my mind. Medicine feels so far fetched. Have you graduated in time like you anticipated? This is probably my biggest worry right now. I think I might give up if I don't... or I might not do my bachelors... I don't care. I know I should continue going even when I've been set back like this because of my current situation but I don't have a reason to live other than wanting to be successful. I wish I was more patient- but I'm not. Sometimes I don't feel like living anymore. I hate this feeling. I can't do this. I just feel useless. A degree won't save me... I feel like I'm making a mistake. But I know deep down I have the potential to make it. I just... wish there was someone or something to guide me. I hope 'future me' makes it. Have I?