A letter from May 26, 2025

Dear Future Me, I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm sorry that I wasn't by your side on your final moments. I'm sorry I didn't speak to you every day. I'm sorry I didn't check in on you everyday. I am hoping you can forgive me. I am hoping that I made you proud with all the achievement's I have done in my life. The biggest one was 2 days after I saw you at your grave stone in January 2024 I gave up smoking. As I have tried and tried again to give up smoking and I kept failing every time and this time is has worked. I don't know what it was that worked but its nearly been 18 months since I gave up smoking, but I do hope that you are proud of me for doing that and sticking to it, the only habit I have left is to stop picking at my nails, but I find it hard especially with mental health. I am slowly working on my mental health but I am taking one day at a time as it can not be rushed, same with grief as I do still find it hard without you nagging at me all the time. I know you only do it because you care.