A letter from May 25, 2025

Dear Darling Heart, This is a diary entry from 25/5/25 … a synchronicity of 2s and 5s. Does that mean something? I have had to admit to myself that I am not doing well. I feel very low. My motivation to do anything is flailing and I feel deeply anxious. Also, I’m very lonely at the moment. I really really really want a person to spend my time with. A lover, not a friend. Someone I don’t have to perform with, I can just be myself and be in companiable silence. Why don’t I get to find long term love? It must be me. It must be. I’m trying not to think like this but it’s pervasive and rears its head endlessly no matter how often I try to hold back the tide. What does life look like for you over one year on, my love? I have scheduled this to reach you on 1 September… the first day of spring. I hope that you are flourishing like a flower coming into to bloom. Floriferous. I hope you have found romantic love with someone who is right for you. I hope you are no longer feeling anxious. I hope your bloody kitchen sink is working. I hope work is fulfilling and stress-free. I hope you had an amazing time at the Venice Biennale with Amanda and Pat. I hope you see as many gigs as your heart desires. I hope your friendships are strong, and you've made new friends too. I hope you feel better about your body. It won't be like this forever. All things change and while I’m not in a good place right now, I’m hopeful for the future. All things change, all things change. I think you are so deserving of love, kindness, companionship, respect, loyalty, fun, adventure. I wish all these things for you and more, my love. All my love, Lauren