A letter from May 23, 2025

Dear FutureMe, I don't have the handout, but I wanted to do this. It is Friday, May 23, and you are in eating disorder residential. You are struggling so hard with your anxiety and self harm urges, but I want you to know that I'm so proud of you. You are so strong, and I know you can do this. You are the boss of your own life, not your OCD, not your depression, and not your anorexia or ARFID. I can see us in the future, at home, kicking butt in school, and being able to eat a full meal without thinking about calories. I want to let you know it's worth it to keep recovering. Do it for me, yeah? And Violet, and your mom, cause God knows she's been fighting for us since day one. And be nice to your parents, they've been through a lot to try and keep you alive. I hope right now you are out of PHP and IOP, and recovered and happy. You don't have to be perfectly skinny to be happy. Right now, you like comics, Heartstopper, Gravity Falls, Over the Garden Wall, songs from Taylor Swift, and the musical Epic. You love your dog, you are almost 15, and you love to read. You get good grades in school, even when you are struggling, and you are a good friend (except for when you laugh at them for falling down the stairs). You like to journal, and you are working really hard in therapy on CPT, which is for your trauma, (hopefully that helps? I don't know, you'll have to tell me). You do not like tomatoes, beans, bugs, busy places, and mean people, and you do like potstickers, dogs, flowers, pretty things, and nice people. Your friends are Bella, Lilly, Natalie, Hailey, Shey, Leah, Nathan, Briezy, Nelly, Mabel, Jenna, Evelyn, and Gianna, and you miss them. Gianna has been telling people you died, which, good for her. You just finished watching the Fantastic Four, and it was pretty good. You like to play boardgames, but your favorite is Life. You wish you could do Mr. Willson's play, Hallmarks of Horror but it's just not gonna happen. Your sister is graduating, and you are gonna miss it, which is super sad. You are on your second week of residential, and it's pretty exhausting, but it's helping, I think? You feel like you are failing, but you're not. Be kind to yourself, ok? And don't you DARE relapse and go back to treatment or I'll hunt you down. Sincerely, Yourself