A letter from May 20, 2025

May 21, 2025 7:37AM Bottom bunk Hi girl, pinuputa mo ba ko wala ka ba talagang message sakin from 2024??? katamaran mo ha. Neways, so since wala ka message nung 2024 andami mong namiss na events, major ******* events. ****, bente ka na, can you even believe that? Firstly, I want to start off by saying happy birthday, yey 20 ka na, you discovered a LOT of things throughout the rest 2 years of your teens, you experienced a lot, met a lot of people, went through embarrassing and uplifting moments, siguro mag list ako highlights no? HAHAHAHAHA - You started college August 2023, at first you wanted to be something more than being a college student, sabi mo you won't miss opportunities anymore and you would try and explore new things, so sumali sa ka sa cadet officer's course ng rotc, which is one hell of a ride for you but more on that later. you met new friends, had a circle (lima lang kayo), you excelled in class, life was slowly becoming more interesting and fun, you had tough days on the COCC, you feel so fulfilled yet tired all the time but you thought it was worth it. You had POOR fashion taste and I mean poor as BAD. Literally girl. But in your defense, that was all you had. - November 2023 there's this guy in your class, you notice him, you're friends with him, and spend time with him, you think he's handsome and totally someone you'd date, but you remind yourself that ure ***. That was until the NGL messages, you KNEW instantly it was him, you were baffled, just at the thought that you might be the one he likes and he was the person on your NGL all along, as my friends would call it "SOBRANG RANDOM" because everyone knew I was ***, and tbh masyado syang pogi talaga hahay. But fast forward we started dating, we went on dates, then he finally asked to court you one night in December. 2024 came, if you were being completely honest, it was one of the happiest year of your life, your circle expanded, met more people, made new friends, everything was average at home but it wasn't the worst, you discovered a different type of love, the calm, safe, and steady kind of love, you did well in class and got pretty good grades, but then, you realized with the COCC and all, everything started to become, well, heavy. Everything was heavy and suddenly you feel like you're at a dark time again. So you decided to make a tough decision, you dropped COCC. When I tell you it's one of the best decision you made in college YOU BETTER BELIEVE ME. Everything is just uphill from here yan, you were able to rest, grow, and hold more space for other important things in your life. You improved a lot and it was evident. Plus, that pogi guy was still courting you, there were rough patches for the both of you but it was another way for you to grow, you had arguments, disagreements and misunderstandings, but you learned through him that you can go through all those without losing love and respect for the other, that wasn't really what you were accustomed to. He made you feel safe, and loved, even on rough and dark days. You were growing with him, even now, looking back at the 2023 version of the both of you, you knew a lot has changed, everything for the better. So in October 2024, sinagot mo sya and made him your boyfriend, officially! It was a good year, you lacked a lot financially, but you were also so full, of love, care, wisdom, experiences, achievements, and all. You ended the year happy, wishing you could repeat everything again. 2025 came, and instantly, it was a major twist in your life, dec arriane would never have thought. You broke up. Yeah. It wasn't mutual, i guess at some point it was, but it definitely wasn't mutual when it happened. You we're devastated, you craved forgetting him, you wanted to move on so bad because the more you think of it the deeper the cut is, by the third week of January, you were able to convince yourself everything was just fine for you, canon event lang ika nga. A handful of people tried getting your attention, but you knew, you always knew deep inside you, it was still him, how could it not be? he was your first. In everything. February came, his birth month, you got a message from him on the day before his birthday, maybe it was closure but at the back of your mind you hated the thought of it. You didn't want to be in good terms with him because that would mean accepting everything and moving on, you didn't want to but wanted to at the same time. Ewan ko girl, di din kita maintindihan. But that was the only way to be connected to him again, after a month of no contact, so you agreed. You gave good words to each other and expressed wanting to be friends again. But Valentine's came, you started the day happy, you got a bouquet, got gifts from friends, but somehow.. something's just missing. So you messaged him, and you 3 months later, you would thank your courageous self for making that bold move. You admitted it was still him, and he did too. He asked to meet, after a month of no contact, and it was like not a month had passed. Na para bang, nakauwi ka na sa wakas, it felt right and better, to be by his side again. You promised not to **** it up this time, please don't. Yesterday he took you on a very special date, an advanced birthday gift to you, nakaka guilty tbh feel ko kasi anlaki ng nagastos nya huhuhu, but at the same time, you we're very happy and just glad that you're spending time with him on that day, a lot of FIRSTS on that day. I honestly want to repeat everything that happened if I could, the laughters and everything, he makes everything special and enjoyable, like he always does, even on a normal day. Once again, happy birthday arriane! I hope by the time you're reading this you're still with him, i hope uno's still there, ur orange cat, i hope you still like collecting and pressing flowers, you still journal, has a job, still get good grades and still with you circle of friends. I hope you look back at this message and say "Yis galing taina natupad lahat" HAHAHAHA. I hope you're doing good at home, you're financially ok and stable, i hope you're mental health is great, as well as your physical. Finally, I hope you are genuinely happy yan, like you are right now. You deserve it. Happy birthday baks.